Rick Roberts 1960-2018

At HOF induction 2012 (courtesy W. Terrell)

My close friend and former Trinity employee Rick Roberts, who worked in fundraising, passed away January 29 from complications resulting from his two-year battle with cancer. In November when he seemed to come out of the woods I lamented to him that I had a half-written blog post about him that was now useless. He laughed and said, "Well, save it. I want you to do my eulogy." I told him I would love to, thinking it wouldn't be this soon. He still gets a blog post. He was the kind of friend that would VOLUNTARILY read my blog without prompting. Many, many friends and family gathered at his service at Texas Lutheran earlier this month. For the record, here are my remarks at that occasion, minus when I was losing it of course:

February 6, 2018 – Rick Roberts Memorial Service Remarks

My name is David Tuttle and I have been friends with Rick for the past 24 years. I am humbled that I have the opportunity to say a few words to you today. I think Dacia is worried that I will talk too long. Mostly because she sent me a text that said “don’t talk too long.” Nah, not really. But do get comfortable. Rick is going to get his due.

I love that today is Rick’s birthday though I am not a huge “birthday” guy. Rick hated it when I would forget his birthday. Hated it. When he was at Trinity by day’s end he would call me and say something like, “Hey, did you want to tell me happy birthday, I’m leaving soon…” I always dreaded forgetting his birthday. Well, I will never forget now.

If he were here, Rick would be thrilled and probably a little uncomfortable with this crowd. After greeting you, despite this being his memorial service, we all know he would quickly turn the conversation to you. Asking about how you are doing. Right? Then he’d ask you for money!

Thank you all for being here. I want to especially thank and acknowledge some people on his behalf.

First, Welcome to all of the people from Trinity University, who just loved Rick so much. He left, but never left us behind.

I want to thank the Texas Lutheran community who quickly learned what we knew about Rick and who embraced him, and who he embraced, after TLU President Stuart Dorsey stole him from us at Trinity. I shake my fist at you Dr. Dorsey.

I want everyone here to know what a wonderful president and man Stuart Dorsey is. His unwavering support for Rick in so many dimensions reflects his kindness, generosity, leadership, and friendship. Rick repeatedly told me how much this meant to him and was stunned at how much Dr. Dorsey supported him and Dacia the last couple of years. I want to thank Debbie Cottrell, Kristi Quiros, and other members of the cabinet for their friendship and support of Rick. He loved all of you.

Last night there was an informal celebration of Rick’s life with his extended family and many of his close friends from Seguin and TLU. Rick’s colleague Sam Ehrlich gave a wonderful eloquent and emotional talk about Rick and what he meant to his team. (You need to share that Sam.) It made me realize that while Rick was loved at Trinity, he is beloved here at TLU. I guess we got to rent him whereas TLU got to own him. What a testament to Rick that he had such an impact professionally and he did it in a very personal way.

I want to acknowledge the caregivers from the hospital for their wonderful treatment they provided Rick. I would jokingly say to them “I want the best treatment for my friend here,” as though I had any authority. But they were giving it anyways. He touched them like he did all of us. His incredible spirit and wit inspired them and he was their best and favorite patient.

I want to welcome Rick’s family, many whom have traveled here from New Mexico. I got to meet many last night including siblings, in-laws, nieces and nephews. What wonderful caring, and expressive people. Being around Rick’s friends and family really helps you see why he was such a quality guy. He was surrounded by awesome people.

I want to acknowledge my wife Donna and my kids. When Rick took me on as a friend it was truly a family affair and the connections between all of us, especially the four of us have been so meaningful and we are all hurting.

I want to thank my friend Raphael Moffett for teaching me to say I love you to male friends. I was able to say this to Rick, though I still have to add the word “man” at the end. But I was able to tell him how I felt during this past year, thanks to you Moff.

To Elizabeth and EJ, I just want to tell you how proud your dad was of you and how much he loved you and Mandy and Arthur. His life revolved around you. You probably don’t see it this way, but you gave your dad a tremendous gift. Watching him grow and change because of you has been so gratifying. Through you he had to reconsider some of his viewpoints. He was always a good Christian. But you opened his eyes and heart in ways he never saw coming. You turned a good Christian into a true Christian.

Finally, I don’t know what to say about Dacia. She accompanied Rick through his illness with selflessness, love, and support. I can’t sit in the waiting room at the Med Clinic with my family for 30 minutes before I’m like “uh, I’m hungry, I’m missing the game… what’s this going to cost.” Rick turned all matters of his illness over to Dacia. She was there as his researcher and advocate, hour by hour, day by day, week by week, and month by month. She drove a lot. She never wavered. Ever. All of us marvel at you Dacia and what you did.

My wife reminded me, though, that your relationship shouldn’t be defined by the last two years. It would be like judging Sean Elliott’s career on the Memorial Day Miracle shot. (That’s my analogy, not my wife’s.) But Rick and Dacia were married for 38 years, which is amazing. They had two kids together, managed other health issues, grieved the loss of family members together, shared several homes, traveled regularly to New Mexico and Colorado after moving to Texas, and experienced all of the joy and challenges of a sustained relationship. Dacia, you meant everything to Rick, and he loved you with everything he had. You were a great wife and he was lucky to have you.  For you, Dacia, to lose him, now, is just so hard.  We all love you.

I met Rick when I came back to Trinity in 1994. Our friendship evolved from the basketball court, to running, and to connecting outside of work. We ran together after the attacks on 911 and shortly thereafter we started training for half and full marathons. When you run with someone that much you get really close. We shared everything about our work, our families, about how lucky our wives were to have us and about how right we were.

We shared a common love for the Spurs, as many of us do. We were at game two of the Minnesota series in 1999, together when we lost. We were mad. We were at the Laker game later that year when the Lakers had a foul to give but instead let Tim Duncan hit the game winner. We celebrated. We probably dissected hundreds of Spurs game on our runs together. The last time I saw Rick it was at the rehab hospital where we got to watch one last game together.

When I was the subject of a roast at Trinity it was Rick who landed the best blows. And when he left Trinity, I was able to talk about him at his farewell reception. And then there’s this. Outside my family, my friendship with Rick has been the most significant relationship of my adult life. I was so lucky to have a best friend with the same interests, the same sense of humor, and the same values. We knew one another’s weaknesses and flaws as well, but didn’t care. Our friendship was unconditional and easy.

I learned last night, that I probably can’t tell you anything you probably didn’t know or haven’t felt. Rick was consistent and treated everyone the same. But here are some things that need to be read into the record.

Rick had a tremendous sense of humor. Rick always reminded me of one of his favorite comedians, Jerry Seinfeld. His keen observations, his funny comebacks, his self-deprecation... He would see humor in most everything and he would retell stories of his missteps in ways that would have you rolling. Even to the end, he was always cracking jokes with the hospital staff.

Rick was the nicest guy in the world. I often felt like I was George to his Jerry. Whenever I was slighted at work or elsewhere, as I often am, Rick was an incredible sounding board. He had a way of listening, not over-reacting, and making me feel good about myself and helped me feel supported. Even at the hospital, he treated the staff with incredible respect and kindness. He could work a room because he wanted to meet people and to learn about them and support them too, but he never really worked people. It was always genuine. When you were with Rick you felt important and that you mattered.

Rick was extremely generous. He was in the perfect job. He got appropriately frustrated when I would tell people to watch their wallets when Rick approached. That’s because he never saw himself as someone who would separate people from their money. He was a steward of people’s resources as he helped them help others.

Now Rick would see this next bit as the most important part of my talk, so humor us. He was a great basketball player, even at his age, and I gotta break down his game for you!

Inducted into the Trinity Noon Ball Hall of Fame in 2012 (yes, that is a real thing), he was always one of the best players out there. He played how he lived his life. He worked hard, had great skill, expected excellence, and was a great teammate and sport. I hated guarding him because he always moved without the ball and knew how to set and use screens. He was a tenacious defender. He was probably the best and most consistent three-point shooter we had on the court. And he was often the best passer. He was the king of the touch pass. That was Rick, he shared the ball like he shared everything else.

Rick and Trich: with bald buddy Kellyn, July 4, 2017

Rick was a man of great faith. When we had Kellyn in 2002 we knew we wanted Rick and Dacia to be the godparents, despite them not being Catholic. When I went and did the paperwork, the Deacon said we couldn’t use them. They weren’t Catholic. They were the most Christian couple we knew, so I went to another church, Our Lady of Grace. This time I knew the question would come up so I was better prepared. I figured it was bad form to lie to a priest, so let’s just say I was evasive when the late Monsignor Walsh asked me about Kellyn’s sponsors. 

I think he knew, but he got it, so he didn’t press the issue. He waved them through. Every year thereafter, without fail, Rick and Dacia would come over with breakfast to celebrate Kellyn’s baptism date. They were always active in their faith communities and Rick was guided by his faith until the end.

Finally, I had no idea how resilient Rick was until his illness. I am not a fan of when people say someone was strong, or they fought hard. I think people deal with adversity the way they deal with it. No weak or strong. They simply cope the best they can. But I learned so much from Rick. I always assumed people fought illnesses from a place of fear. That’s how I would do it.

But Rick always fought from a place of hope, strength, and his eternal positive attitude. I should have figured. When we would play basketball and I would take a hard foul I would inevitably let out this kind of involuntary yelp. And Rick would just shake his head. “You okay there?” he would say with his sheepish grin. He was tougher. For crying out loud, he just learned this fall that he had a heart defect his whole life.

When I would turn the ball over, as I am prone to do, and then stop to pout, Rick would always admonish me to get back on defense. He would never give up. He was fearless and determined.

I tried to engage Rick about how he was feeling, emotionally, these past two years. He wouldn’t bite. Dacia recounted to us last week that Rick told her that it was odd that I asked him if he was afraid to die. She reminded him that, well, he did have stage 12 cancer. But he said he that while he didn’t want to die, he wasn’t afraid.

Rick looked ahead, never skipping steps, and never losing faith. He was focused fully on the next thing and not one step beyond. When Rick told me he had cancer, it was over coffee at Starbucks. “So, I need to tell you something…” he started. He was almost sheepish about it. Almost embarrassed. It was like he was going to tell me that he dented my car. This illness was never bigger than him. Setback after setback and obstacle after obstacle were placed in his way. Despite pain and extreme discomfort Rick never complained. Dacia says that during his rehab, when they said do five reps Rick would say let’s do ten. When they would say ten minutes he would say 20.

Even when I saw this coming I never really expected it. Like Rick, I never really wanted to look up. And today, I do look up, and I see all of you. Rick was my best friend. You naturally see people mostly in the context of how you know them. I was speechless last night and a little disoriented as I was reminded that Rick was much more than my friend. Husband, dad, brother, son, co-worker, friend, noon-baller, donor. He belonged to everyone in much the same way. Without doubt, Rick made an incredibly positive impact on everyone who knew him. Even now. Ironically, on this day, he is the gift-giver and always has been. I love you Rick. We all love you. Happy birthday.

Embracing Media Interviews

Recently a colleague asked me for pointers on how to talk to the Trinitonian. It's a great question and hints at the trepidation some have when faced with being the subject of an interview. People want to show they are smart, reasoned, and caring. And they want to be quoted accurately. I have been doing interviews for decades. Still, I always check the Trinitonian for damage control before diving in more fully. I check the opinion pieces and then the stories I am a part of. It's human nature. Then I enjoy a good stress-free read.

I am a huge fan and supporter of the Trinitonian. This isn't to say that sometimes I don't disagree with them and their opinions. On the whole, though, the paper has a sustained record of excellence. That said, here are some tips for my colleagues when the spotlight turns toward them:

1. You should say "yes" to being interviewed
The best way to manage the flow of accurate information is to offer it. Avoiding interviews makes people think there is something to hide. Even worse, is saying "no comment." It is a stiff-arm to legitimate queries and makes reporters even more suspicious. Often you can help reporters by referring them to additional/different/better sources if they are requesting you to comment on something out of your wheel house.

2. Be accessible
The students are very busy and juggling deadlines. They will appreciate it, and remember, if you take calls outside of normal hours or send some quick email responses to follow-up questions. It may behoove you as well in the long run.

3. You don't have to answer the questions just because they are asked
You need to be honest, but aren't under oath and aren't required to answer things that are off limits. Generally this happens with private and confidential information, usually about students and employees. I like to talk in generalities when this happens: "Well, usually staff members are discouraged from coming to work high..." or "What a lot of campuses face is..."

4. The paper is a valuable conduit of real news
Transparency, communication, and the exchange of information are critical to the media and our paper is no different. Being on the hot seat can be difficult, but explaining one's self and one's decisions is important. When I visit other campuses I pick up their papers to compare them to ours. None match the content, the layout, and the pizzazz of our campus paper.

5. It is all about student learning
Once you see the value (#3), the next step is understanding that not only is the Trinitonian a service, but it is an educational vehicle for students. Nearly everything we do here is about student learning. Reporters are sometimes nervous to talk to adults who have been here awhile and can be guarded at best and blustery at worst. Believe me, it is tough when a reporter makes mistakes at the expense of your reputation and career. Get over it though.

6. Keep perspective
It is easy to think that what we do is soooo important. Sometimes it is. But we are a small campus in South Central Texas and mostly nobody else cares. Polar ice caps are melting, the rich are getting richer, and world leaders with WMDs are assigning nicknames to one another. We are not "all-that."

7. Your quotes are less interesting than you think
It took me a while to figure this out. Sometimes when I read my quotes I am like "oh no, this is totally out of context." That used to drive me crazy. Then I realized that usually people glance through stories, get the drift, and then check their iPhones. The quote you obsess over is probably of very little consequence. The truth is, that out of a twenty-minute interview you will probably have two or three quotes - tops. And reporters will just be using you, really, to weave their narrative.

8. Let reporters record your interview
Everyone wins. My fear used to be that I would be misquoted. Now I fear I will be quoted accurately. "Did I really say that?"

9. Try to be interesting
I try to drop in an outlandish nugget in every interview. I learned this from my mentor Dr. Coleen Grissom. (This was never a strategy for her, she just did it because she was that good.) Once you realize you aren't Such a big deal (see #6), then you can have fun. I try to drop a money quote in every interview. Unfortunately, few get published, either out of the reporter's respect for my reputation, or because they didn't think I was as amusing as I did.
10. You can go off the record
All you have to do is say, "Can I go off the record?" Sometimes this is important when a reporter is sniffing around an angle that isn't accurate. And sometimes you are trapped in terms of what you can say for print. You still can't divulge private information, but you can say things like, "We are going to announce this change in a week, so be patient..." Some stories are non-stories and you can derail them by being honest. And it makes you feel really important to lean in, look side-to-side, and say, "Off the record..." But that's just between us.

11. You can't proofread the story
Journalists don't want you to even ask. They are loathe to cede control of their material, their story, and their angle to one of the sources. You usually can't talk them out of using your quotes once you have spilled the beans. But, our students generally aren't out to get us. If you build rapport and then later get nervous about what you said, a reporter might be open to reading back your quotes to you to give you peace of mind.

12. Someone will always disagree with you
The reporters are taught to cite multiple sources. Sometime you are a primary source or a secondary source. You will probably know which when you know the topic. The most maddening thing is there will always be a student quote that makes you seem like you know nothing: "Free tuition for everyone is fine, but really, if I can't find a place to park I will never give money to Trinity." This is done in the name of balance. Get used to it.

13. Let it go...
From time-to-time employees will write back for clarification - often on minor points - and occasionally without much grace. The more you keep a story going the more life it has. Don't feed the fire.

14. Finally, it is important to understand the role of the advisor.
Katharine Martin does a great job training the students and processing the issues they grapple with. And, she regularly reviews their work after it is published. But, she doesn't review content in advance unless the students are seeking her help. This is critical so the press, even at a small private school, is seen as independent and free from censorship. That is what creates an authentic and valuable learning experience, and one we can share in by being competent and interesting interview subjects.

Speaking of... Race

Recently I sponsored an open campus discussion about race. More specifically, it was about Colin Kaepernick, race, the national anthem, and sports. It is an interesting and fascinating topic. Unfortunately, any discussion about this means we are not discussing the original issues: police brutality, disparities in the legal system, and inequitable social structures in education, housing, and schools.

Case in point, Malcolm Jenkins of the Philadelphia Eagles is focusing his energy on bail reform. Who knew? Well, not me. It is a difficult and gritty topic. Many of these topics are. And they aren't really accessible to many of us. But we have all likely been to sporting events and absentmindedly stood up during the presentation of the national anthem. It is more habit than tradition.

That said (and acknowledged), the discussion, with heavy support and promotion from the Black Student Union had promise. Indeed, we had wonderful discussions throughout the event. Using continuum exercises ("if you feel this way go to the left, if you feel this way go to the right, or somewhere in-between"). While there was some nuanced disagreement, many at the event felt similarly. But we acknowledged early that we were an "echo chamber" of opinions, mostly agreeing to agree.

We used some of the wonderful Shannon Sharpe piece as a springboard to discussion. It is certainly worth a watch at just under ten minutes. In it, he calls out NFL owners for only paying attention when President Trump attacked their brand. Another video that has gone viral, but that we didn't discuss, is an opinion piece by Dale Hansen. Additionally, people in the discussion cited some of the history of this issue, which is not really a new one.

While free speech and the first amendment have been discussed as key issues with the protests, they really aren't. As a private league, the NFL and its privately owned teams, can set their rules for decorum. This of course clashes with the notion that anyone has a right stifle another's voice. The first amendment is very specific to government not being able to squelch dissent. In the NFL there are issues related to collective bargaining and rules, not really free speech. In our discussion we pondered what would happen if a Trinity football player would take a knee. What if a coach did? Or a dean? What many athletes have done is to show unity with their teammates by locking arms. This is a way to express their ideas: We stand with you, but we aren't taking a knee...

Amid the many excellent commentaries on the topic is another excellent piece is from former NFL player Marvin Washington. In it, he articulates that the issue isn't about patriotism, but is a "distress signal." And this really encapsulated our discussion well. Why do we begin sporting events with the national anthem and not say plays or films in the theater? If it is supposed to be unifying as some might contend, it isn't, as many feel shut out by the promise of the American dream because of institutionalized and accepted racism.

Digging deeper, and most interesting, was the discussion about "sticking to sports" and what that means. On the surface it seems logical: musicians, movie stars, and athletes should entertain us, but not share their political, religious, and social beliefs. Never mind that we crave personal information on our celebrities. And no one complained when J.J. Watt used his platform for hurricane relief. In my favorite piece on this the author states that what people are really saying is "I disagree with you, so shut up." My favorite songwriter, Jackson Browne, regularly hears from critics about his political music as not being as personal as his romantic ballads. He defends this, stating that nothing is more personal than politics. (I totally agree, but his music ballads really are better artistically!)

Last year I wrote a piece about our conservative students and how they have added to the dialog on campus. Some pushed back because they disagree with those students and aren't thrilled with some of their tactics. True, they sometimes seem to see discussion as sport, to be won or lost, rather than as a means to better understanding. And sometimes they don't play at all, or don't play nice when they do. But we could have used them in this discussion. Because without them to have a back-and-forth participants weren't stretched, or pressed, or challenged.

Getting students from the middle to engage is probably the biggest challenge. Many, I would guess, support social justice, the flag, the military, and the song. But without them at the table, the discussions don't go very deep. These talks then, are satisfying but, not rewarding.

As I think about the next discussion, I consider topics that will bring people out, that will engage them in discussion, that will allow for real learning and understanding. (I would love to hear comments here for ideas.) But one thing I know, this isn't the time for anyone to take a knee. As Malcolm Jenkins knows, it's more complicated than that.

Post #300: Shut that guy up!

Me. So small.

In 2014 I wrote a post about My Life as a Blogger. In it, I very humbly highlighted what I thought were my Greatest Hits of blog posts.

So yes, there is of course some ego involved here. But more so, I just think my profession, and my University, serve up excellent material to write about. So here I am, 50 posts and three years later, taking a moment to look back at some of this material. Of course many of the posts are ones I want back. Maybe they aren't really spot on or not in-depth enough, but not every album has all hit songs. Except of course for Greatest Hits records. I enjoyed writing number 300, because it was about family, Trinity, and Higher Education. I know these topics well.

Over the last five years I have grown in terms of my understanding and empathy related to social justice issues, especially related to race. (This bathroom post took a lot of research but I grew from writing it.) I have many on this campus to thank for this, and two former colleagues in particular: Felicia Lee and Raphael Moffett. Of course there are always risks writing about race. I know some people feel that I can't be an effective spokesperson or ally because I am a white man. I simply have to accept that, because it's true. The alternative is to not take risks and stand silently, so I'll take my chances. I have more to say on this topic, so stay tuned in the future.

Of course in today's era, we have had to be very thoughtful and deliberative when our values for freedom of speech and providing a safe campus environment collide. Some of our students have pushed the envelope on this topic and they have kept us on our toes. I got a little push back on this post about our conservative students, with some (who don't know me well at all) thinking I lean more right than left. At the end of the day, I think the headline holds true.

In my work I deal with alcohol, a lot. Of course I have my personal story that I have become more comfortable sharing. I shared it again when Sarah Hepola came to campus. I wanted her to like me better than she did, by the way. But I am very committed to Trinity University having a harm-reduction model and I think we have put our money where our mouth is with the national award winning Optimal Buzz and B'Low Optimal programs.

And topically, I see now that I have done several posts about sexual assault, including two back-to-back. This is a serious campus issue and we work at serving our students with compassion, fairness, and transparency all the time.

There have been a couple posts that have stood up well over time, no matter how brief. I outlined how students can invest in their own experiences and show school spirit - challenging them to be more active than inert. My post on marijuana made the top ten. It was a hit.

But my favorite posts are not the ones about policy or issues. I love to write about people. Unfortunately, some of these posts are about tragedy. I am still haunted by the loss of our young student Corey Byrnes in a car accident a couple years ago. It prompted me to re-visit a fatal crash in 1987, with my own journey as a back drop. That was one of the most difficult, natural, and real posts I have ever written. So was the one on the passing of Dr. Mike Kearl. His death stirred something in me and the campus community. The post about Tiger football and Roy Hampton was rattling around in me for awhile. The TCU comeback laid it all out and it nearly wrote itself.

Of course, from tragedy we find stories of absolute inspiration. I have started writing posts for the holidays and they have features dome incredible stories. The first was about Jennifer Reese and her mom and it still gives me chills. And the story about Dr. Roberts and how he came to Trinity still inspires me.The fantastic attitude and light that is my former colleague Tony Salinas simply amazes.

Dr. Coleen Grissom used to talk about the absurdity we deal with in Student Affairs. I have used it as a mantra in talking about gravity, levity, and absurdity. I wrote about the gravity plenty. But there were a couple of posts that I still delight in for their silliness. When I ran into Dr. Aaron Delwiche at HEB he was in the right place at the right time as I was developing a post about Michael Buble. He was a great sport and the picture of us is perfect. And I enjoyed the post about Ben Gomez because of who he is, but mostly because it took four years to assemble.

Here's hoping I have a chance to write 50 more posts in the years ahead. I could do with a little less tragedy and a bit more joy. To that end, I will conclude with a link to a post about my own college experience and its timelessness.

Thanks for reading.

Inconvenient Truths

Student rights.

I was really pleased to receive an advance copy of John Croxton's op-ed piece in the Trinitonian this week. In it, he challenges the "creeping paternalism" of the University. I think he mostly means me, but that's fine. I love that John reached out to me and we have plans for continuing dialogue. He is being respectful, has some ideas, and we should welcome the exchange of differing opinions at a campus like ours.

Since he is legit, and not a troll, I thought I would give some counter-arguments to some of his points. He interprets the recent increased residence hall security changes as over-reach and cites two other examples to state his case. We did recently restrict access so off-campus students no longer have access to the Trinity University dorms. We learned, through an incident last spring, that upon purging students from the off-campus records, we were missing some when their status was in-between (on leave, for example). There was an incident with one such student led to us of a loophole that needed closing.

So we closed it. I don't feel too badly about it because typically students on campuses ONLY have access to their own dorms. This is because students can more easily identify who should and shouldn't be there so thieves, assailants, and vandals can be identified and dealt with. Because our halls are not traditional, with one main entrance in most cases, we were open, and quite benevolent, in allowing inter-dorm access when card-access was developed. Then, SGA (formerly ASR) wanted off campus students to have access, which was a ridiculous request. But I said to them "find me another school in the country that does this and we will do it too." Well they did. Dammit. So we did it, but I never liked it. (A survey of ACS schools this week confirms that few of these peers allow access by non-residents.)

Hodor

The other two examples cited are our tobacco-free campus and our prohibition on hard liquor. The University has embraced student health and wellness in its strategic plan and even backed that with the hiring of a Health and Wellness Coordinator. The Bell Athletic Center is currently undergoing a $14 million renovation. And there is a cool running group on campus too. Institutionally we are making statements about health and wellness. (We are in favor.) It is in-congruent to allow smoking and associated behaviors. So the ban makes perfect sense and is backed by science. The only compelling reason some students offer in opposition, is they don't want to be told what to do, which is not very scientific. Ironically, students lobbied for condoms in Health Services, the bookstore, and the convenience store because they felt the university needed to support safe sex. SGA is currently pushing for feminine hygiene products in the public area restrooms (which I support). Is this paternalism? Shouldn't individual students be responsible for their own products?

I have explained the hard liquor ban many times, including in this blog. That is a tougher call for me. While it may seem arbitrary, two of our values are pitted against one another: acknowledging students will drink vs. caring deeply about student health and safety. Sometimes you have to choose, and we picked health and safety this time. That John references the 2002 hard liquor ban (it was banned much earlier, but revisited then) puts a new spin on the term "creeping," incidentally.

How we are perceived matters to me. John points out that we do tout our Responsible Friend and B'Low Optimal programs as student friendly and progressive. I like that we are student-centered, and that includes an active SGA, and student boards for campus social and academic violations. We remain one of the few schools now that includes a student voice in Title IX hearings. Students matter here and we take their input all the time.

Students can't have it both ways, however, as noted in the earlier condom example. Nearly all of our decisions begin with campus safety and health. When things go wrong, students (and their parents and their attorneys) will look at Trinity, its policies, and its enforcement of policies to see if we fell short in our obligations. Just this week several parents on the Parent Facebook page raised legitimate concerns about a car theft on campus. They mused about increasing patrols and adding more lighting. They seem in favor of paternalism. There was an expectation, as well, across campus, that we provide crossing guards up at City Vista as we have awaited the activation of the cross-walk. Indeed, the University staff and parents are probably more aligned on these topics than both groups are with students. Students will often view things based on immediate and short-term impact, such as whether or not they have to wait outside of a door of a building they don't live in.

What is more, parents contact us all the time for things their students should, or could, handle on their own. We don't mind, because we like that partnership. And we know that moving from adolescence to adulthood is a process. So we can back off, I suppose, when parents do.

But we have the long view and are unapologetic, because we are not values free. We don't sell pornography or tobacco in the bookstore. We don't allow guns on campus. We don't allow pot regardless of what Colorado permits. We make people live on campus for three years because this matters to us as an institution. We don't allow hazing. We intervene on behalf of campus neighbors when living next to our students becomes unbearable. We recycle. We put nets between the baseball field and the pool deck so sun-bathers don't get hit by home runs from our national championship baseball team. We send students to the drunk tank with cab fare to get back to campus safely. (We are just the WORST.)

Mostly what we do, is try to keep our students safe and healthy. We don't want our students to do shots, or pollute their lungs, or let strangers into their dorms. It can be a lot of work protecting our students from themselves. And while most times we consult with students on most things, sometimes we just have to do what is right. And sometimes we have to say "no." Where some might nitpick and see "moralizing paternalism unfit for a modern university," I simply see us doing our job. Most reasonable people expect no less from us, regardless of how inconvenient that may be.

Fathers, sons, and holy ghosts

Nathan and David Tuttle, Steve and Michael Logan

In 1987 when I interviewed to be an Area Coordinator at Trinity, I was part of the second wave of this newly established position. The needs had evolved for more entry-level live-on positions in campus housing nationwide. As more students lived on campus and as their needs changed the requirement for oversight was increasing. The house-parent model was becoming extinct.

I was vying for a vacant position because two people from the first wave of Area Coordinators, including Steve Logan, were moving elsewhere. Steve was headed to Stanford. I was enamored with the Trinity position because I clicked with the people here and loved the campus and city. (That's a familiar story!) Fortunately I was hired and my life would never be the same. And yet...

Some 30 years later Steve and I have reconnected, though we had been in touch off and on over the years, running in the same professional circles. Steve has ascended through the housing profession at bigger schools, including SMU where he was the Senior Executive Director of Residential Life and Student Housing. He currently holds a similar position at Embry-Riddle in Daytona Beach, Florida. Poor Steve. I have persisted at Trinity, having had the good fortune to be hired twice and promoted twice by mentor and friend Coleen Grissom. Of course she hired Steve too, way back when.

My new bond with Steve is our sons. Last October young Nathan Tuttle was hired as a Residential Life Coordinator (the former Area Coordinator position) at Trinity. This summer, young Michael Logan joined the team in the same role. We are all the stars of our own movies. Until we have children. I think Steve would concur. The kids are the stars now, and we are both extremely proud of them (and all of our other kids) and are thrilled to have Nathan and Michael at Trinity right where we were three decades ago. (Nathan even lived in the same apartment I started out in.) Trinity was good to us and we have done okay too.

Of course Nathan grew up on this campus. Like me, he has seen the slow pace of change here. Steve got to take a 30 year break and upon his return he has seen the things that have remained constant and the significant changes. The culture here is largely unchanged: the education of our students remains  at the core of our mission. The hands on touch, a hallmark of the "Dean Coleen" era is part of the campus ethos. The campus remains beautiful and there is still a lot of red brick. Conversely, every residence hall has been renovated (at least once) since Steve roamed the halls. The Miller fountain is in a different place, the Bell Center is new and newly renovated, Northrup Hall has been torn down and been resurrected, like a phoenix. The Science Lecture Hall and Cobb-Racey has given way to the Center for Science and Innovation. We own apartments. And students no longer need building keys to gain dorm access, but use their Tiger Cards.

What is more, students no longer say "I pay $14,000 a year to go here, so I deserve..." (By the way, that was roughly my starting salary.) Those really were the days. The price tag now is $56,000 per year. Of course many students receive deep discounts and even full payers are paying roughly one half to two thirds of what it costs to be here.

The changes can be attributed to three things: technology, the arms war among campuses to deliver the best of everything, and human resources. In 1987 technology consisted of black and white TVs, huge stereos, calculators, and a clunky main-frame computer. Now millions go into hardware, software, and WiFi befitting a residential campus.

When prospective students tour campuses they make note of the BEST each school has to offer, and seek a place that combines all of those elements t the highest level. We may have great dorms and a superior science facility, but UT has a more elegant business school. Students and families pay a lot and want the best. Of course the best in academics is a given, and fortunately we deliver in that area across the board. But people want amenities and universities have fallen over themselves to deliver. This is how we ended up with the proverbial rock wall at some colleges -- a symbol of excess to many in an age where many struggle mightily to scrounge up tuition while working and raising kids.

One of the other drivers to higher costs are salaries and the increasing positions across campuses. When Coleen Grissom led a staff retreat in 1987 about 25 people attended. Today, that same area is comprises roughly 45 people. Perhaps we had ghosts doing the work of others back them. Or maybe it was a simpler time. Pete Neville led Student Activities. Now his job is split by a director, a coordinator for Greek Life, and a student organization staff member. One counselor handled a handful of accessibility-related requests. Now two full-time people do so. Likewise, Jeff Powell managed Career Services when I began here. Today roughly eight people do his work.

This is the same all across campus. We had one Athletic Director and several full-time coaches. There were a handful of people in the Alumni and Advancement area and now there re over 30. The same for Admissions. And, faculty salaries have increased and we continue to work feverishly to keep pace with the number of positions and equitable salary.

Of course we didn't have to add these positions. But they were demanded of us. Technology has brought shortcuts but added work (and staffing). Students come to us with needs for more counseling and academic support. The government regulations we face have required additional positions in order for us to be in compliance. And as we benchmark across other campuses we see where we fit in the escalating professionalism of services. Small schools feel it differently too. There are fixed costs to each department and position added.

None of this is a bad thing. But it is misunderstood. While many bemoan the rising costs on one hand, they demand increased services, better facilities, and more amenities. Compare campus food service operations from the two eras and student demand for more, more, and more as a perfect example. This is how we have gotten here. This is our reality. And this is why some schools are losing pace and folding and while others work to offer more to outlast the others.

At Trinity, the day-today working worlds of Michael Logan and Nathan Tuttle are not that different than when their dads were here. Our mission has always been to serve, support, and challenge our students. It is heart-warming to see our legacies continued, especially by our own flesh-and-blood.

But they probably don't notice our ghosts and the ghosts of our former colleagues walking the halls and filling our meeting rooms. Those ghosts... Today they are vastly out-numbered.