Parent Post: Covid Generation Over the winter break I came down with a manageable case of Covid. While concerned for me, my college student -- home for the break -- was more fixated on its impact on her, and her scheduled return to college out-of-town. I found breakfast outside of my quarantine space, less out of love or ambition, I think, but more to keep me at bay. Long texts scolding me for my selfishness whenever I DID venture out were not uncommon – though someone had to walk the dog! (Generation Z students love to give feedback.) Being a parent is hard, not just because of the challenges our students pose, but more so, because of the ones they face. It has become increasingly difficult over the past 10 to 15 years as this generation of students deals with staggering and intensifying mental health issues. Gun violence, racial strife, and political upheaval have exacerbated the crisis. Add the twin threats of the pandemic and climate change, and this is a generation of young people on the brink. For me, the threat of nuclear war in the late Cold War era may be an apt parallel. Unfortunately, recent global events may be resurrecting fears of worldwide conflict as yet another major crisis that will create incredible stress and anxiety for all of us, including our students. I have dealt with these issues as a parent of several college students and as a student life administrator for over three decades. We want to protect, to leave a better world, and ensure the happiness and success of our children. Unfortunately, recent global events may be resurrecting fears of worldwide conflict as yet another major crisis that will create incredible stress and anxiety for all of us, including our students. Various historical events have shaped the experiences of many generations (WWII, the Kennedy assassination, 9/11 – to name a few). For me, the threat of nuclear war in the late Cold War era is an apt parallel. Unquestionably, the current generation of students will one day be considered the Covid Generation. Of course, this cohort of students is technically the aforementioned Generation Z (born 1997-2012, and they make up today’s traditional-aged college students. Most of us have watched as “normal” learning and milestones have been torn from them over a sustained period of time. This pandemic has been tragic on global, national, local, and deeply personal levels. People have died and suffered in horrible and lingering ways. Everyone has been impacted in one way or another: worn a mask, had plans change, quarantined, washed the groceries, and experienced some anxiousness. For my daughter, having any control over her return to campus, as well as not having another experience ripped from her, was understandably a priority. Climate change is no longer a far-off concept of doom and gloom. Its impact is having an effect on day-to-day lives of many on the planet as ice caps melt, sea levels rise, temperatures climb or fall to extremes, and severe weather challenges the eco-system. How will today’s challenges shape their psyches, personalities, and relationships over time? Sociologists, psychologists, researchers, and historians will study this and deliver appropriate answers one day. But we can’t wait that long. So, what can we, as parents understand and do to try to help our students come out of these incredibly challenging and unprecedented global crises? I spoke with Dr. Daniel Lopez, Clinical Psychologist, in San Antonio for this piece, and he offers a glimpse into what our students are dealing with. Helplessness and Hopelessness Dr. Lopez believes the pandemic and climate change are overwhelming young people in extreme ways. “It is a big challenge to not become helpless and hopeless.” “Covid has changed everyone’s experience, younger people in particular” says Lopez, who works a lot with Gen Z. “They are having real challenges, having events and activities postponed, seeing fewer opportunities as companies freeze or delay hiring for their particular skillsets.” Indeed, this generation has lost out on milestones, like graduations, entering college with unbridled optimism knowing that “spikes” can send or keep them home. What is more, “The challenge around climate change and impact on their future is on their minds. Many come in and are concerned about what the future holds. It can make them feel unsteady. For these younger people, it’s much like 9/11, only on grander scale.” Normalcy and Trust Like those who grow up in alcoholic families, today’s students don’t really know what “normal” is. They have been forced to pivot, adapt, and repeat. Additionally, they have experienced an “erosion in trust” according to Dr. Lopez. Young people witnessing a lack of tangible action related to climate change and “the disruption in democracy” may find it difficult to trust those around them, those who are in positions of authority and decision-making. Dr. Lopez also deals with those who are grieving the losses of loved ones to Covid and these losses take on an added dimension. “Beyond loss, there is worry that Covid can infect and take the lives of anyone, anytime. And this reality has added a heightened vulnerability for many.” “Establishing trust in oneself, having confidence can be quite difficult” says Dr. Lopez. “To help those experiencing a crisis of confidence, we sometimes review their past experiences (evidence-based reasoning) to remind them of previous successes encountering and mastering challenges. This process often helps create more certainty and confidence moving forward.” Dr. Lopez notes that the “sense of normalcy is disrupted and unpredictable.” He notes that clients wonder if “this is the new normal.” Moving forward So how does Dr. Lopez work to pull people back from the abyss, and how can we do the same? “It is important to develop mindfulness skills, teaching people to stay present. People sometimes futurize and worry about things well beyond their control. This is often called negative prognostication, and it can immobilize individuals. It is very helpful to encourage a focus on what can be done, today.” Dr. Lopez also works with clients on calming techniques. “Using visualization strategies, such as imagining a calm peaceful place, can help,” he says. “We often develop and rehearse a script for when people start to feel anxious: Breathing, grounding, using their senses…” What can parents do? How will this Covid and Climate generation be defined? Nobody knows. What we can do is try to mitigate some of the emotional devastation by building trust and striving for normalcy. * “People look to their closest relationships and feel support there in very personal ways” notes Dr. Lopez. As family members, striving for consistency, support, and yes, normalcy, can go a long way. Relationships with other young people is really important, too, says Dr. Lopez. “Younger people were already connecting via social media and gaming, and these activities have been of help to many in supporting them through isolation.” * People in general are more vulnerable to their own emotions, says Dr. Lopez. “Because of collective stress, people are shorter with their frustration – as we are seeing on airlines or in reports of road rage. These are symptoms of emotional stress.” Identifying ways to reduce stress, through mindfulness, exercise, and health can be important for day-to-day stability. * Where possible, identify areas where young people can have control. There can be small wins through involvement in social and political movements and larger successes through careers and leadership in government and business. * Acknowledge and discuss the many challenges students are facing. They are thinking about their own futures and the collective and greater good. So, talk about these things with them. Parents and family members should share their own concerns and fears and validate that this is all very real. * This generation is more comfortable with counseling and therapy than those in the past. Encouraging young people to explore their feelings in depth with professionals is really important. * And finally, try to offer hope. “Young people are wondering: Will I have to wear a mask forever? Is this ever going to end?” says Dr. Lopez. Offering hope that things will get better and that we can survive may be the best thing we can offer. For my student, who was packing to return to campus, being able to go back without delay provided consistency, normalcy, and for goodness sakes – a little bit of joy. She and others in this generation has certainly earned that. About the author: David Tuttle spent over 30 years in higher education in Residential Life and Student Affairs and has sent four children to college. He is the proprietor of a student and parent assistance service, PROsper Collegiate, LLC, and may be contacted david@prospercollegiate.com.