Teach your children (well)

This is primarily written for my parent audience, with the misdirected hopes that their students will listen to them more than they listen to me...
Recently the Crisis Management Team conducted a campus-wide active shooter training drill. This followed years of smaller tabletop exercises by the CMT and various departments, such as TUPD. The purpose of a large-scale drill is to test the response by campus employees, students, visitors, and guests. As a CMT we are always learning things and hope we never have to put those lessons to use.

As if this isn't enough for parents to worry about, a murder of a UT student on the campus in Austin around the same time amplified anxiety about safety on campus. Unfortunately, there are crazy people in a crazy world, one in which subways, schools, campuses, offices, airplanes, stadiums, clubs, churches, and movie theaters are under constant threat. This generation of parents was reluctant to let their kids play outside, and perhaps they were on to something. Ultimately, being in the wrong place at the wrong time can lead to tragic results. And then sometimes we simply need to be lucky.

Nevertheless, there are some things college students can do to try to tilt luck their way just a little.

1. Prepare
The performance of our students in the recent drill was pretty positive on the upper campus in the academic and administrative buildings. In the residence halls it was woeful. Perhaps it is because they knew it was a drill. But we all know, how you practice is how you play. Residents mostly saw the drill as an inconvenience. On the upper campus we had more success, because the faculty and staff had more direct responsibility and impact. Even then, I encountered students blissfully ignoring warnings because, well, they had to study.

Parents, urge your students to participate in drills and respond to alarms. It could save them someday. Also, have them review our really well done web pages on emergency preparedness and TUPD procedures (excellent links on the left side of that site).

2. Use campus resources
Students are welcome to call TUPD for escorts at any time. Sometimes they are reluctant because they don't want to wait. A nice alternative is the under-utilized Elerts app, which enables a student to walk while holding a panic button on their mobile device. Releasing that button triggers an almost immediate response from TUPD.

3. Practice safe habits
This is always dangerous, because asking people to take precautions can be perceived as victim blaming. Victim blaming is something that is usually done after something bad happens and is directed toward an individual. We all have the right to not be mugged, to jog at night, and to go where we want when we want. Sometimes we do all the right things and bad things still happen. A group of students can be held up at gunpoint (it has happened) just as easily as an individual student can have a knife pulled on him or her (that happened too - a long time ago before dorms were locked).

But here are the basic harm-reduction strategies parents can stress with their students: travel in a group; be aware of surroundings; trust your gut feelings; use a designated driver; use seat belts; run in daylight; lock your room; only let people you know into buildings; and report suspicious activities.

A huge risk factor is alcohol. Urge students who drink to at least use the Optimal Buzz guidelines and avoid alcohol from public source containers (punch). Probably more good than bad has happened as a result of over-consumption, though most have to learn this by experience.

4. Keep your guard up
Students can very easily be lulled into a false sense of security. They will leave clothes in the dryer for days, walk away from laptops to get a snack, leave their balcony doors unlocked, and confuse a bubble for a fence.

It is natural for people to be vigilant after something bad happens. Sustained, reasonable, and appropriate concern can go a long way in helping students be safer. 

A moment to be grateful for

On March 30, 2015, five first-year students were involved in a car accident near campus. Four were hospitalized with a range of injuries. Corey Byrnes died at the scene. A year later, Trinity University paused to recognize the one year anniversary of this tragic day, and dedicate a bench in Corey's honor. The site was selected by his friends near their residence, Calvert Hall. Here are excerpts from the remarks and a video of the fairly brief but moving ceremony is included in this post. (Video by Tim Zhang.)

Dean of Students, David Tuttle
Unfortunately, we have lost students and young alumni before. If you walk this campus you will see their memorials. For all of these young people, their friends and families felt it was important to have a market, somewhere here, that expressed that these young people lived here, learned here, studied here, played here, and mattered here. What an incredible honor it is for us as a campus to celebrate their lives in these tangible memorials that reflect how much they mattered to us too. When we pass this spot and when you come back to visit as alumni, you will reflect on Corey, and his life, and your grief, and how they are inseparable and permanent.

Class of 2018 Alumni Sponsor - Leni Kirkman
I don't want to stand here putting words in the mouth of your dear friend Corey - but I'm pretty sure he's left us a good recipe for living. Putting aside the pains of the past, and our worries for the future - and finding happiness in the present: Easy to say, much harder to do - but I think that is what I will try to do each time I come sit on Corey's bench.

Chaplin, Stephen Nickle

March 30, 2016

We gather on this anniversary of his death feeling a mixture of sadness and glad memories. We gather to dedicate this bench in Corey's memory, to mark in an explicit way our gladness at having journeyed a piece with him, and our sadness at his death. Lord, this memorial bench created a space of rest and encounter: of shared laughter, of honest argument, or trusting vulnerability -- all of which were precious to those who knew Corey, all of which are precious to each of us in many other friendships.

Class of 2018 Class Marshal, Jennifer Henderson
Corey was a student in my first year seminar course - a course on Women and Technology in Media. This is a course he didn't really expect to be taking, but one he was game to dive into. I can see Corey on the left side of the classroom, five seats down. I can see him raising his hand anytime we talked about video games or movies. When I remember Corey, all of the snapshots are of him laughing. Laughing with his friends. Laughing at my inability to get the computer projector to work...again. Laughing at himself. Corey laughed a lot. He laughed easily and sometimes for not outward reason at all.

Kindred Spirits

Drinking buddies.

"People contact me all the time and say 'your story is MY story." So said author Sarah Hepola to a riveted crowd in Laurie Auditorium on Thursday (March 3, 2016) at an event sponsored by the Coalition for Respect and Greek Council. Well, I was thinking the same thing. I have revealed my own drinking history to the campus, first in a 2004 Trinitonian column (that time Spurs owner Peter Holt was the catalyst) and in countless welcome and diversity speeches at New Student Orientation.

I like to talk openly about my dysfunctional family history, my drinking, and my social anxiety. I want students to not see me as a bland and condescending bureaucrat. I want my failures to make me approachable and a safe resource for students when they hit their lows. How can I judge given the things I have done? And there are plenty of adults like me around campus that students should and do look to during their most vulnerable moments. So of course I am drawn to Sarah's candid and blunt accounts of her black-out history. Forgive me for gravy-training.

Sarah's talk triggered a flood of liquid gold memories for me. It has been over 30 years after all, so I don't go back there very often any more, back to the spirits and ghosts. The consistencies between our stories - and apparently the stories of many - are both shocking and yet not at all surprising. I will spare the details of my past, except to say I imposed blackouts on my self nearly every weekend for several years running during college. It didn't stop afterwards, and that's when I knew I wanted to forge a different path for my own yet-to-be-created family.

Dinner with the speaker and Trinity people.

Like Sarah, I felt emboldened by my alcohol use and belittled others as amateurs. Most striking in her speech were these incredible nuggets: knowing from the first time that this was a problem; treating non-drinkers as less-worthy "light-weights;" hiding behind one-night stands and cigarettes as adventurous and cool; and building a drinking identity that masked fears, anxieties, and low self-esteem.

Interesting and sad stories we have to tell. But what is the take-away for our students? Sarah was spot on from the start when she told students that she wouldn't tell them not to drink or drink less - because they probably wouldn't listen. At the end of the day students will make their own choices and take their own risks. And there are lots of risks. What I had in common with Sarah was the fun, exhilaration, transformation, and brazenness alcohol created. How dare either of us serve ourselves up as cautionary tales? The best way is to name it: that if students feel the way we did about their relationship with alcohol, then they should take pause. Serious pause. Look at the full arc of our stories to see the almost cataclysmic results that somehow ended in at least some redemption.

Some of my history guides my thinking in leading policy discussions on campus. The Optimal Buzz and B'Low Optimal programs acknowledge that students will drink but gives them incentive to do so moderately. Currently, we are fully reviewing our off-campus alcohol policies and guidelines with the Athletic Council and Greek Council. (That will be another post altogether.) I anticipate revisions that shift responsibility to individuals more than groups and that further strengthen our commitment to student health and safety above policy enforcement.

Sarah described college as that fun time of freedom between adolescence and adulthood. Why wouldn't students have fun with alcohol? By describing her experiences in Black Out, and taking her story to college students Sarah Hepola is offering up an important and very personal story.

Over dinner with a group of students, staff, and faculty at a local restaurant, Sarah answered questions, spoke with passion and humor, and was candid about her story and the culture of drinking. As our waitress, Amber, thanked us for our business, she revealed, tearfully, that she herself was 263 days sober. "You should listen to her," she said of my new kindred spirit, and hers. "She speaks the truth," said Amber. She does indeed.

What's in a name?

Fall Skyline Room Menu

It all started with Curb Your Enthusiasm. Specifically, there was an episode about a Hollywood deli that named its sandwiches after celebrities. Larry David, creator of Seinfeld and real-life George Costanza, wanted to swap his Larry David sandwich for the Ted Danson. (Hilarious clip contains crude language.)

So why not try named sandwiches here, in the Skyline Room? Our faculty members are our celebrities. So in the fall of 2015 we rolled out a new menu featuring some of our faculty superstars. Bob Blystone, Richard Burr, Bill Christ, Ruben Dupertuis, Coleen Grissom, Paul Myers, and Claudia Stokes all good-naturedly agreed to lend their names to a new spate of sandwiches. Some of the sandwiches were pre-existing. Some were new and customized. Dr. Blystone, for example, was very specific about the sandwich he wanted, which may be why it was almost dropped from the menu.

Indeed, the new chef looked at the menu over break and proposed dropping the Reuben Dupertuis and the Paul Myers from the spring menu. This was nearly a done deal until the serving crew at the Skyline implored me (they actually did), to not drop the Reuben or the Paul Myers. Sure enough, it turns out that the Grissom BLT and the Blystone had the fewest sales. The chef just wanted to rotate out for better variety.

The Bill Christ. Really

Interestingly, when I initially told Ruben Dupertuis that his Reuben was possibly being rotated out... he kind of took it personally. I assured him it was about sales (which turned out to be false). But even that didn't bolster his spirits. He is lobbying for the sandwiches to have tenure so they can never be dropped. He might have a point. I haven't broken it to Coleen Grissom that her BLT is low in sales, but she wouldn't complain. She whines that she wished she was the Claudia Stokes.

This was all a bit more than I bargained for. I was able to convince Dining Services to keep the whole menu, for now, in addition to rotating in the three new sandwiches selected by our new chef. Professors Blystone and Grissom have a reprieve. Paul Myers, indifferent to his sandwich, seems as safe as a Reuben, for at least the spring.

I polled the faculty for nominations to name the new sandwiches and received a robust response. Without further ado, I am pleased to announce the new sandwiches for Spring 2016:

The Brian Miceli Celifornia Chicken Club
Grilled chicken breast with bacon, avocado, lettuce, and tomato on ciabatta.
Brian received several nominations as the ultimate California dude. When I asked him if this would be okay he just said "cool."

The Carolyn True Caprese Sandwich
Fresh mozzarella, tomato, and basil on a ciabatta roll with balsamic pesto dressing.
When I approached her about the Caprese, which does sound musical, she listed all of the ingredients. This is a True match.

The Camille Reyes Cuban Melt
Pulled pork, ham, Swiss cheese, pickles, cabbage, and mustard on a baguette.
Camille is of direct Cuban descent and was so excited to tell her family she is now an American sandwich.

The previously unnamed Pepperoni Flatbread will now be The Mike Wilkins.

Of course Peter Olofsson, Aaron Navarro, and many others provided some interesting suggestions. The response to the sandwiches has been fantastic. The students really love to order their favorite professors. The Skyline use has seen a 125% increase this fall. And the faculty involved have been incredibly great sports. The others who submitted names had fun nominating their friends and colleagues for this honor. This is truly Trinity at its best. And the sandwiches aren't half bad either. I invite readers to check out the expanded menu sometime in late January.

Stolen Endings

Down 31-0 at the half we had seen this story before. TCU trailed Oregon in the 2015 Alamo Bowl in San Antonio, in part, because its star quarterback was suspended. To a handful of people across Texas and the nation, the circumstances were all too familiar. What might have been?

An intoxicated Trevone Boykin snuck out of his hotel after reportedly being tucked in for the night. Then, he found himself in a Riverwalk saloon where words were exchanged, punches were thrown, an arrest was made, and dreams were dashed.

It was December 14, 2002 when Trinity beat up St. John's to advance to the Division III national football championship to take on powerhouse Mount Union. The Amos Alonzo Stagg Bowl was a big deal. Airing on ESPN, it was Trinity's chance to shine on the national stage. Finally. The Tigers were led by Roy Hampton, the brazen gunslinger at quarterback, who led the nation in passing in D-III. If any team would beat this Mount Union team it could be a powerful offense like the Tigers.

Celebrating at a party following the semi-final win, Roy Hampton was passed out, reportedly after being tucked in for the night. Then, he found himself in a Riverwalk saloon where words were exchanged, punches were thrown, an arrest was made, and dreams were dashed.

Trinity went on to play its biggest game on the national stage alright. But it was painful. What might have been? The Tigers went on to lose 48-7. So much more was lost that day then a game, though we got another chance when Trinity again hit the news with its Mississippi Miracle in 2007. Perhaps it was our consolation prize.

Roy Hampton and three others were suspended from Trinity University in October 2001. I remember it well: I suspended them. It was an easy decision. The four students had gotten in a scuffle with a Trinity student at nearby Bombay Bicycle Club. They left and within an hour someone shot a gun at that other student's apartment near the Quarry. A public servant was an eyewitness and later identified the four students as present, both at the initial hearing and then the appeal hearing. The suspension was upheld.

The Tigers were eliminated from the playoffs before the suspension went into effect. It was the only time I cheered against our team. The suspension would likely have taken place sometime before the championship if we would get that far. I didn't want that on me.

As a young Dean, this was my first big test. The victim in the case and his family wanted immediate and harsh justice. Among the four students accused were the nephew of a professor and an African-American student, also on the football team. His family alleged racism on my part. The Trinity uncle naturally put his heart with his family. Attorneys of the students were interviewed on the local TV news. "The Dean of Students served as prosecutor, judge, and jury" groused one. A Web page, mostly trashing me and my investigation sprung up. Calls to my house threatening me to back off didn't help. There was more, and it was messy. It was the worst period of my professional life. The Faculty Senate would ultimately move to strip authority from the Dean of Students to make uni-lateral decisions in cases. As a result, the Dean is the least powerful person on campus, which is odd for someone who oversees student conduct.

How did I get there? I loved the Trinity Tiger football team. It was the golden era of our Division III team. You could do a TV show about it. Before Roy Hampton, the brash Mike Burton led the Tigers to the playoffs and won the D-III MVP award for his own talents. Even today it is on display in the Bell Center. He was good and he helped coach Roy, who came right after him. Sometimes the team made it hard to support them with their shenanigans. But they were dynamic, on and off the field, filled with colorful characters. I used to love to take my young sons to meet the players on the field after games and they were very kind and gracious to my boys. In one playoff run we set-up speakers on the Heidi lawn to listen to the game as a community. I was there that night to support the team, following a heart-breaking loss, when the buses rolled back to campus. We would have another day. So we thought.

But in 2001 I became the enemy. Later, amid legal wrangling that happened above my level, there was an admission that "mistakes were made" in exchange for being allowed back in the fall of 2002. The other students never came back, but Roy did. I supported that move for purely selfish reasons. I was off the hook for ruining Trinity football.

Then the incredible playoff run happened, and we finally were headed to the title game. I was ecstatic for the University. But it all came crashing down within days, when Roy's arrest was made public. Trinity was lauded for doing the right thing in suspending him. It was in part because of Roy's previous record. Maybe pundits felt good. Virtually no one else did. Coach Steve Mohr had reached his pinnacle only to have the opportunity ripped away. It was devastating.

According to Roy's teammate, and our current coach, Jerheme Urban, it haunted Roy. How could it not. Coach Urban says Roy never got over letting other people down. Imagine if there were social media then. Roy was wildly popular with his team and friends. He was the life of the party and had charisma. Roy passed away in 2013. There would be no redemption in his story and maybe that is why even Trinity skirted it in its announcement. But when Trevone Boykin repeated history, I couldn't do the same.

Years after all of this I would reach out to Roy over email to see how he was doing. I didn't feel sorry for him. I wasn't worried about him. I guess I just wondered about him. We had a nice, brief, cordial exchange. He was very gracious. You learn after awhile that people aren't defined by one act. They are not two-dimensional. We are all the sum of our parts. You appreciate the complexity of people - especially young people. I eventually made peace with the professors who became deeply involved in the shooting case. Time and conversation heal. Hopefully the players from those teams harbor no ill-will against me. But I understand if they do. We lived through an epic Greek tragedy.

The one positive outcome has been that Jerheme Urban was named head coach after Steve Mohr retired. Jerheme is a high-character man. He included Roy in his football camps in Victoria if only to have time to spend with his friend. He supported him when it would have been easy to write him off. The team is rolling again, under his leadership. He is using his own Trinity and NFL experience to shape young men. They make mistakes too. But he has their blind spot, as he did with Roy.

So this January, trailing by a bundle, TCU would follow suit until its now historic comeback, defeating the Oregon Ducks on ESPN in a dramatic double-overtime come from behind victory. They stole our ending. A similar epic comeback by the Tigers would have gone a long way: for Trinity, for Roy Hampton, for Coach Mohr and the team, and even for me.

When Trevone Boykin threw that punch another one landed. Those of us who remember 2002 took one to the gut, again. You know what? It still hurt.

Half full

The Eighth Annual Dean of Students Half Marathon Challenge and Kayla Mire Food Drive is in the books! What a wonderful group of running partners (several shown above at the starting line). We trained from September through the culmination of the Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon on December 6, 2015. The highlight was running through campus with about 25,000 of our new friends and a very supportive cheering section.Great touch, too, that Trinity alumnus Mark Greene won the full marathon.

We had about 75 people participate in the program this year. Runners ranged from steady participants to those who jumped in near the end after training a lot on their own. The group included students, staff, faculty, alumni, parents, friends, and Rachel's boyfriend Marc. Our charity was the San Antonio Food Bank and the runners and TUVAC collected the equivalent of nearly 15,000 pounds of food ($1 equals ten pounds). The Kayla Mire Food Drive is named for alumna Kayla Mire, who died in 2010 and was an advocate for the homeless.In eight years we have collected nearly two semi trailers of food.

Highlights of our training included a session on running form; a session on running gear; the Alumni Weekend 5K; a Halloween Hill Hell run; the Trinity Turkey Trot; a run around Woodlawn Lake followed by a taco breakfast; and a pasta dinner the night before the race. Kayla Mire's parents attended and Mr. Mire offered a few very touching remarks about Kayla. 

In assessing the program, 85% of respondents said they would do this again. The rest say they are graduating or moving away. Nearly all the students would love to receive a PE credit for the program. Of the 42 respondents, 40 said they would continue to be runners and two were unsure.

Please view the slide show below to gt a sense for the spirit of our runners. They look pretty happy - even in the post race photos. Mark your calendars for December 4, 2016 for the Ninth Annual Challenge.

The Gift Exchange - A Trinity Christmas Story

Trinity Registrar Fred Rodriguez knows a good thing (or two) when he sees it. When he came to Trinity he soon identified one of his employees, Claudette Reese, as "a jewel." She helped him transition during a difficult time for the office. She trained him.

Claudette worked at Trinity for two-and-a-half years, from 1999- 2001. Her time here was cut tragically short by an auto accident that left her in critical condition, and her husband Timothy deceased. The vehicle they were in was hit at an intersection in the Dallas-Fort Worth area on December 6, 2000. Claudette accompanied Tim, who volunteered to participate in a webinar for the Social Security Office. Tim passed away from his injuries on December 28, one day after Claudette's birthday.

Injuries and Healing

That Claudette survived was somewhat of a miracle. The list of injuries is as impressive as it is frightening: three broken ribs, punctured lung, broken clavicle, facial lacerations, fractures to the pelvis, dental injuries, and a shattered elbow. Today Claudette is quick to point out that the most shattering wound of all was losing her husband of 30 years. Fred Rodriguez was concerned that Claudette, who was in critical, wouldn't make it. He says the pain was immense and she was still struggling, physically, a year after the accident and is still recovering some 15 years later. 

Claudette would eventually move home to Austin, where she worked as an administrator at Scott and White Hospital.

There is another...

Jennifer Reese was a student at Southwest Texas State - now Texas State - in San Marcos when she learned of the accident. She was preparing for finals. Her mom still can't believe that she completed all of her finals successfully while traveling back-and-forth and not knowing whether or not her parents would survive through the holiday season. Jennifer went on to graduate in 2003. And it was later that year that Claudette would urge Jennifer to apply for a position at Trinity's Registrars Office. Registrar Rodriguez knew he had struck gold again. Jennifer started at the front desk, became the Graduate Coordinator, and now works as the Degree Audit Coordinator. Jennifer received her MBA in Business and Marketing at Texas State in 2009.

Like Mother, like Daughter

Jennifer had been here before. When she came to visit campus after her mom started here she thought the trees smelled like grape bubble gum. For years after she started she would find other reminders of her mom. "I used to go through old files and would stumble upon things that she had put her mark on," Jennifer told me. Claudette had coordinated classroom reservations and Jennifer would see the notes and pictures she left of the spaces in the on-line reservation software system.

Jennifer says she tries to live up to her perfectionist mother. Rodriguez describes the two as very similar in how they approach their work. They are both driven and eager to get down to business. He says Jennifer is a bit quieter and more serious in her approach. Rodriguez says, "They are extra dedicated, sharp, organized, and detailed. Under their exteriors they have great humor." They are not the same person though. Claudette loves classic rock and gambling junkets - Jennifer, tote bags.

Claudette and Jennifer

Christmas Tidings

Despite their tragedy, Jennifer, her brother and sisters, and Claudette, all celebrate Christmas with enthusiasm.The memory of the Christmas they spent at a private Ronald McDonald House in Dallas in 2000 seems like a long time ago. Jennifer says her mom still enthusiastically decorates, placing a tree in every room.  "Mom still makes sure we get ten presents each," Jennifer says with a wry smile. They reminisce about Tim, especially during the holidays. A scholarship at Texas State bears his name.

Claudette describes Jennifer as methodical, patient, and sensitive. She says Jennifer never forgets her family's tragedy and uses it to focus on the human element of the people she works for and serves. Students wouldn't know what Jennifer went through. She is focused on them when they come to her for assistance. They never know her sense of persistence and courage. Jennifer is proud of her 12 years and hopes to stay on for a long time. She has deeper roots than most as a member of the Trinity family.

This holiday season the Trinity community should be thankful for many things, including Claudette and Jennifer. Claudette says that were it not for the accident she may still very well be here. In many ways, she still is. Merry Christmas!

Some people are SO competitive...

Sore winners

There are more dysfunctional work places than bearable ones. I know this because I have met people. I will now go about explaining why we, in Student Development, are not the former, though the evidence may indicate otherwise.

First off, Student Development is the informal moniker for what used to be Student Affairs, but now includes staffs from the Experiential Learning and Career Success and Student Success Centers as well as a few colleagues from International Services and Study Abroad. Basically, we are the ones who serve, support, and challenge our students in so many ways across campus. We are dedicated, hard-working, and professional. We care deeply about our students.

Games of Thrones: The Banners

We have three committees: the Divisional Assessment Team; the Professional Development Committee; and the Social Committee. For our purposes I am going to explain the Social Committee. This is the group that plans our gatherings (end-of-the-year party, Holiday Jubilee, etc.). This year, with the larger Student Development Team in place, that committee decided to split us into four teams to get to know other colleagues from various areas.The idea was to have friendly competitions at monthly lunches. The first was football trivia and October's was a "Minute to Win It" style of games.

It turns out that there are some competitive people in the Student Development area. Apparently, these people, including me (according to some), were split up into different teams. Because it would be rude to name these people I will do so: Melissa Flowers, Jamie Thompson, Stephanie Ackerman, and Lisa Chapa are the worst. It is worth noting that Melissa and Stephanie are from the east coast, so, you know...

There has not been a game yet that hasn't elicited some form of controversy. Apparently dedicated professionals can squabble over the smallest perceived injustices. It is odd to me because every team except mine has found one way or another to cheat. One person used both hands in the stacking ping-pong ball and cup bouncing game, which stabilized what was supposed to be an unstable stack. But it would be petty to complain. We have all gotten over the fact that Wanda Olson's team won the football trivia contest though the night previous, her husband Phil, was in possession of all of the questions. And answers. But karma is a thing, and the same team was shut out in the second competition. Turns out "Blue Steel" lacks a fierce competitive spirit.

Our team, the "Esther Bunnies," is named after our Captain, Esther Kim. It is the most creative team name, though there are apparently no points for that.(Other rejected suggestions: Kim Rats, Kim Dandies, The Fi-esthers, Court Esthers, and Besther.)

While this may be giving us strong connections outside the office, I can say there is definitely tension between me, Megan, and Yvonne on game days. This has become serious. I have to admit to having the shakes as I was (victoriously) stacking lug nuts eight high (on their sides) using a skewer. My teammate, "Brandy the Intern," thought it would motivate me by yelling, "They are all doing better than you," though the careful approach proved the correct one. I don't know if I was nervous about the task, nervous about wanting to win, or nervous about how I would fire my intern.

Who knew that what would bring out the worst in us would also bring out the best in us. But it has. Over the years we have done these really nice events with awards, centerpieces, and words of encouragement and support for how we help our students discover, grow, and become. This year though, there is something different in the air. Competition, complaining, boorish-behavior, a lack of civility, and a keen sense of anticipation for the next game day. Everyone but the "Esther Bunnies" hates me. But I don't care about them. By the end of the academic year we are going to win this thing. Isn't that the sign of a perfectly healthy workplace?

Perpetual Giving

Katie Ogawa chats with a conference attendee.

I once wrote a post about Trinity's over dependence on student Katie Ogawa in campus publications and marketing. She was, of course deserving, but we have many phenomenal students. So I hate to add to the mystique here, but even after graduating in 2014, Katie continues to bring our University the best PR imaginable. On October 31, Katie was flown in from Albuquerque to the Oblate School of Theology "Dorothy Day for Today" seminar. Katie received their first annual Social Justice Advocate Award in the student category. The excellent presentation was made by Chris Plauche of the Catholic Worker House. Check out the introduction and presentation below.

Homegrown Talent

I had a nice dinner with Trinity Alumna Noelle (Stockman) MacGregor (2001) and her friend from Houston recently. Noelle and Lori were here for a meeting and brought Lori's high school senior daughter Alex for a campus visit. Alex would be a perfect fit for Trinity and we would fit her like a glove. Lori told me that Noelle has been raving about Trinity for some time. This is not a new narrative. So many alumni spread the gospel of Trinity to others. More than once I have talked to a student whose neighbor or family friend went to Trinity and pitched it for its wonderful quality.

This is a special place. So special, that a number of graduates have become boomerang employees. A quick snapshot reveals that currently we have over 90 employees who graduated from Trinity. They have multiple experiences and stories, but it is very telling to me, that like our network of alumni cheerleaders, such as Noelle, so many talented people just can't get enough of this place. They turn their academic careers into professional ones.

When employers hire Trinity graduates, they almost always gain a superior employee: someone who can see the big picture; a person with social skills; a strong communicator; a person who can dig into the minutiae; a hard worker; and most commonly, someone who is extremely bright. When we hire Trinity graduates we are almost never disappointed. Of course we have tremendous employees who have come from elsewhere. Interestingly, they generally mirror the qualities of the Trinity alumni we hire.


This summer, in a bit of a coup, alumnus Mike Bacon was hired as the VP for Advancement and Alumni Relations. He embodies the Trinity spirit and news of his selection rippled through the alumni community like a tsunami. An insider was at the helm. One reason, besides their skill levels, is that alumni already know us and get us. It takes others awhile to learn and embrace the Trinity culture. It is elusive to define and it is unique. This is one reason why Mike's selection resonated so well.

I have worked here for over 25 years. I have probably eaten more meals in Mabee Hall in the history of Trinity than anyone else. I have probably climbed the tower more times, too. I have sat through more retirement receptions, been in every dorm room multiple times, and likely have more Trinity t-shirts than anyone... ever. But I am still an outsider. Meanwhile, people who have graduated from here will always have something I don't: a Trinity degree. I will always be Ned Stark's Jon Snow. But that is how it should be. Blood is thicker than water, and Trinity's worldwide family is just as robust on campus. We all win when we hire Trinity graduates. A Trinity graduate and a Trinity employee... That's usually an inspiring combination.

Letting Go: ParentTalk

For 14 years the ParentTalk listserv was good enough. In the spring of 2001 the Student Affairs staff put some strategies in place to advance parent engagement. This was in response to a growing chorus of concerns that the only time parents heard from us (Trinity) was when it was time to pay the bill.

Dating back to the expansive Coleen Grissom era, involvement with parents was always a hallmark of the Trinity experience. Back in the days when she was "The Dean" in the 1980's and beyond, she put on what seemed to be a one-person show for parents during a special summer orientation.

By 2001, and after she returned full-time to the faculty, fewer parents were attending in the summer and we focused our attention orienting parents when they were on campus en-masse with their new students in August.This has served us well. We get in front of more parents and in this electronically-paced world, giving up a weekend mid-summer just doesn't work for a lot of parents, especially given our reach beyond Texas and associated travel.

Our multi-pronged approach included a summer newsletter for new parents, a quarterly parent newsletter, a calendar/handbook for parents, and beefed up Fall and Spring Family Weekends. As the internet grew the summer newsletter and regular newsletters shifted to electronic versions that we could publish with greater frequency. We created a pretty good parent Web page (and discontinued the printed calendar - though a printed one-pager is available on-line).

Over the last couple of years a group of us meet quarterly to manage our parent relations. Staff members from Career Services, Admissions, Advancement, Student Involvement, Marketing, and the Dean of Students Office collaborate and coordinate a new multitude of programs including TU-in-the-City; Summer Send-offs; special luncheons; and more. This meshes with our philosophy that parents are partners, not distractions. Additionally, we are pretty clear that we are student-centered unless the issue of a student's success here hangs in the balance. Then we want to hear from parents or we initiate that communication.

Sometimes students don't like this because they want to be independent, though the money their parents spend on them comes in handy. That is an age-old tension between emerging adults and their parents. We do what we can to coach both sides through that.

Our crown-jewel of parent programs we rolled out in 2001 was the ParentTalk listserv. It was an electronic forum (mostly email) for parents and by parents to communicate about issues privately. It was an immediate hit. In the first year we decided to host a ParentTalk coffee on Fall Family Weekend at my home and it became an annual tradition. The idea was to put names and faces together so parents could meet some of the frequent contributors. Very quickly the list was split up as active members and lurkers (as opposed to stalkers). Name tags actually featured everyone's email addresses.

The first group had many colorful characters. Bruce from Colorado was a ParentTalk celebrity and he remained on the forum years after his daughter transferred. Parents led by women named Cory, Diane, and others started vacationing together despite being from California and Maine. The forum had its growing pains. The first challenge was handling differences in opinion. One parent expressed some unhappiness that Trinity was hosting the Vagina Monologues, saying "this isn't what I sent my kid to Trinity for." As I tried to prepare a response as moderator another parent posted "this is exactly why I sent my kid to Trinity." A long culture of mostly civil dialogue emerged where opposite opinions often ended up settling in the center.

The culture continued to grow and included George from Houston whose wife and I had to counsel off the forum. Others stood up to assume leadership roles and even today, and the popular Leslie in Jamaica who has been on the list the longest continue to chimes in despite her daughter being long gone from Trinity.

Students have had mixed feelings about the forum. They worried what their parents were saying about them and sometimes resented that parents were in the know about so much. Some parents went rogue and shared posts with their students who claimed, frequently, that those parents had no clue what their own students were doing on campus. They would be mortified. Mostly, it was a chance to take the most involved, concerned, and angsty parents and let them guide one another and talk each other down.

The most benign posts asked about nearby mechanics (Chevron) or restaurant and hotel reviews. We were one of the only schools to have a forum like this and my colleagues often thought I was crazy: too MUCH parent voice... too MUCH group-think. I rarely saw it that way, except when it came to complaints about food. While students were being painted pictures of bread, water, and raw potatoes I was not beyond taking my phone to Mabee to videotape all of the food options to post as a reality check. (Dean-rage.)

What parents have valued the most has been the moments when they could ask for support. "My kid is lonely/miserable/homesick/failing. What do I do?" And parents responded with empathy and care. The next year the same distressed parents were doling out the advice. It hasn't been unusual for parents of sick kids to see if anyone else's kid could check on them. And they did, including bringing care baskets for the ailing.

Over the last two years parents have asked about changing away from the forum. Facebook was gaining steam as a forum. In comparison to our higher-maintenance, less user-friendly, somewhat clunky list, Facebook offered advantages. Sometimes parents were overwhelmed by emails when a hot topic arose. It wasn't uncommon for somewhat surly dads to contact me about how to "get off this damn thing."

So as the requests for Facebook grew we added a private page this year: TU Parents. My staff and I wagered how quickly this would supplant the still-running ParentTalk. I won. Within days of the roll-out there were over 200 parents on the page. Nary a tumbleweed rolls through the ParentTalk listserv anymore.

I like that people can post photos and links ad that the page is generally private. It is already different though. I don't see the posts being nearly as personal or people being nearly as vulnerable. As an over-discloser I will try to prime the pump from time to time. I like the new format. it is easier for me, has a cleaner and more professional look, and is a forum that is comfortable and familiar to many. I will still moderate it and approve those who request to join (or not - no students allowed).

I don't think I am mourning this shift. It is good to mix it up, to update, and to evolve. But I like what we've had and how it fit with our hands-on high-touch culture here. Like most parents though, it seems inevitable. Time to let go.

Saturday Night Lites

Football is back and the Trinity took care of a tough Sul Ross team 30-12 on Saturday night. Not all the action happened while the clock was running. The new tailgating policy has been successfully rolled out. LeeRoy, the campus tiger mascot celebrated his birthday at halftime (hopefully will have a link soon). And new President Danny Anderson competed in the halftime bat races and made a nice showing of it. I suspect he skipped the tailgate libations, giving him a slight edge.

Phil-anthropy

I got to spend some time with my colleague Yvonne's little boy Phillip. He was very entertaining as we waited in a long line for Powerade at the concession stand. He chastised me for not knowing they had purple flavor, told me he retired from football after one season, and wondered why I got an iPhone as part of my job and his mother didn't. Unfortunately I had to borrow some cash from new VP for Advancement and Alumni Relations, Mike Bacon. That quickly turned into a photo-op I added to his Facebook page. I may have misrepresented the photo as him taking money from a poor young donor. But.. picture don't lie.

Finally, it was a thrill to see former TU student (and one of my runners) Brianna Timourian (below) on campus. She was a TU student for one year and then transferred to Southwestern, where she is now a junior. It was there, at SU, during Brianna's sophomore year, that she ran cross-country with Danielle King. Danielle transferred to Trinity this fall and Brianna was on campus this weekend to visit her. In other words, they each transferred in different directions. I know Brianna's dad, Derek, who works at Southwestern. He knew my son, Nathan, who attended there. His other son went to TCU and he and my son Aaron started the same year and worked together at the TCU Rec Center during their freshman years. All that to say, Brianna and Danielle report that Trinity's dining services has a slight edge over Southwestern's.

Danielle and Brianna at the game.