PARENT SHORT: Pride
June 7, 2022

When I met my wife, who was from Boston, I told her I was from Wisconsin. It eventually came out that she while had heard of it, she didn’t know exactly where it was. “Wisconsin, Wyoming, Iowa – I don’t know,” she said. “I just know they are over there somewhere.” I am not sure how Iowa got lumped in there. I am obviously over this slight some 35 years later. For those of us in fly over states, we are used to it. But we want validation (in any form, not just geographically) from New Yorkers, Texans, and Californians. (It doesn’t help for me that one of my love languages is affirmation.) 

Keep this in mind as we celebrate Pride Month. While you may not know everything about gender identity and fluidity, it matters a lot to those who don’t identify in the male/female/heterosexual milieu. Affirmation matters a lot – especially for something so personal as identity.

To many college students, now more than ever, being able to identify, express, and live their identities is really important. As a former Dean of Students, I knew students whose families kicked them out of the house for being gay or transgender. That is heartbreaking on so many levels.

Maybe your student is biologically gay or lesbian, or is questioning and exploring their identity. If you don’t like it – ask yourself why it bothers you.

I think it used to be that parents knew that being gay would mean a life that would result in resistance, ridicule, and discrimination for their kids. Today, that is less the case (though still an issue), especially with Generation Z – a very open-minded and accepting group for the most part. (Except when they say “okay, boomer.”)

If you simply don’t understand a lot about gender identity, there are so many ways to educate yourself. There are great online resources about sex, gender, and identity. It is evolving all the time, too. This generation is standing up for itself and expects you to be somewhat knowledgeable -- and at least willing -- to learn about things like pronouns and language. They certainly don’t feel it is their job to educate you. So do it yourself. And if you get a chance, go to a PRIDE parade and see what it is all about. This is part of being an ally. I have been to several, and it is really joyful and uplifting.

So, happy PRIDE month parents! If you have a LGBTQ child, then I hope you are PROUD of them. If you don’t, the world needs educated, supportive, and enthusiastic allies from all generations and backgrounds. Proactively embrace this important role. We ALL want affirmation, whether for where we are from, what we do, for our beliefs, and most importantly, for who we are.