#YouToo

It takes a lot of work, energy, reflection, training, and continuing education to craft and execute an effective process to investigate and adjudicate complaints about sexual harassment, sexual assault, and a range of what we call Title IX offenses. It is much easier to be critical of these processes. After the Dear Colleague Letter was released by the Department of Education in 2011, sexual assault survivors were emboldened to come forward and challenge their campuses to do better. Colleges were supposed to manage these complaints effectively before then, but many were not doing so sufficiently, so the Department of Education clearly spelled out expectations. At their core, Universities were being told that sexual assault was the most egregious form of gender discrimination. These students were often left to navigate an impossible learning and social environment before, during, and after reporting a grievance.

At Trinity University, we looked at our hearing model and made a seismic shift. The traditional hearing model pits one student against another in a hearing in front of a panel where sensitive and intrusive questions are posed as facts are gathered and credibility is weighed. This can be extremely traumatizing. We switched our model to an investigative process in 2014. Under this model, we have about 25 trained faculty and staff members who serve in different roles in investigations. Each student is appointed a process advisor, there are two appointed investigators, and two others serve, with a student from the Student Conduct Panel, as a hearing panel. (This is our administrative process. The criminal process is handled by TUPD.) The new model shifts the perception of a University-influenced format to one that is represented from an array of members from our campus community.

Certain values are reflected in our process. First, students are only asked to share their accounts once in the investigative interview. Second, the idea is to collect all of the information, have it reviewed by all parties, and prepare a summary report with recommendations. The work is front-loaded and not done in a hearing setting that mirrors a trial. Third, the hearing places the investigators on the hot seat, where the panel asks them to clarify their conclusions and recommendations, mostly eliminating the adversarial hearing model previously used. Fourth, the process is evidence based. While there is always some level of credibility assessment, investigators are trained that it isn't what they think, or feel, but what they know as they draw their conclusions.

Additionally the process is designed to be fair, transparent, and compassionate. Students may include support persons (friends or parents), attorneys, and their process advisors. There are no "got ya" moments, and there is acknowledgement that reporting and responding students each face certain levels of trauma for very different reasons. Reporting students worry that they won't be believed. Responding students worry that they are assumed guilty because of the sexual politics around sexual assault on campus. And in the end, while we want students and their families to assess the process for how it is conducted, many, naturally, assess the process based on the outcome. It is not uncommon that those who agree with the outcome typically find the process, while not easy, to be quite fair. Those who disagree feel less positive. But those who experience it, more and more, understand how decisions are made. We coach students that the outcome doesn't affirm nor invalidate what has happened. The outcome is really about whether or not there is sufficient evidence that a violation took place, or not. There is more, and policies and procedures are available on-line. Campuses, including ours, have a duty to constantly review policies and procedures as well as campus climate. This is evolving and not static.

After The Dear Colleague Letter (now rescinded), it didn't take long before accused students felt their rights were being trampled. In some cases they were. So there was a backlash. This was seen in the new guidelines issued under the current administration through Betsy DeVos, somewhat of a departure from the Obama-Biden era that categorized assault as gender discrimination.The pendulum swung.

While all of these things were making the news and exploding, it was entertainers and politicians that were lobbing grenades at campuses for their "kangaroo courts". Outsiders had simplistic views of these complex issues. First, they would say that the police, not universities, should handle cases. That is absurd because the legal process and criminal standard is so high that it would basically say survivors had no chance to continue their education in a non-discriminatory environment. The administrative process is about rules. Campuses wouldn't allow a physical assault, peddling drugs, and hazing - all illegal acts. Second, the popular notion that schools were sweeping things under the rug was ridiculous in the era of social media. If schools were doing this, they were horrible at it.

And then... Harvey Weinstein happened. Bill Cosby happened. Matt Lauer happened, Al Franken and Roy Moore happened. And the genital-grabbing President of the United States happened. The dishonor roll is LONG and growing. So while Claire McKaskill and others were rooting out problems on campuses, which by-and-large, were developing fair and sensitive processes, the people in government and entertainment were the worst unchecked offenders. Thank goodness for the #MeToo movement for revealing not only their boorish behavior of many men but for throwing open the door on the hypocrisy of those who made colleges the scapegoats of sexual crimes and an overly sexualized culture.

Now, the Brett Kavanaugh case reveals even further double standards. While the new DeVos rules require charge letters, extend investigation times, and hint at a higher standard of evidence, our government ignores the same guidelines and works to schedule a congressional hearing, with no clear procedures, and that likely will re-traumatize the accuser in the most public of settings, and tramples the rights of the accused, regardless of what position one takes on this. The government can't even follow the basic tenets they are proscribing to others. Christine Blasey-Ford is right to wants a proper investigation before she is hauled out in front of the nation to be interrogated in televised partisan hearing. 

The people with power and influence in national tone-setting, in Washington and Hollywood, have passed judgment on colleges and their students and bemoaned a broken system. Many of these people, in their glass houses, create the laws and a culture that deposits sexual discrimination at the doorstep of our universities. Given their horrific behavior, their audacity to criticize colleges, when at the same time their own houses are in disarray, is troubling and two-faced. Perhaps they should stop preaching and try listening and learning. Though we are imperfect, to be sure, taking lessons from American campuses may be a good place for them to start.

The Monster's Inferno

Doom and Gloom?

The Monster is Born
No one is really to blame, unless you want to blame everyone. Decades ago, as colleges and universities started to more aggressively compete for students, they sought every possible competitive edge. At its core, the student higher educational experience should be about access, quality instruction, available courses and majors, and reasonable outcomes, many of us are selling the whole experience. This makes sense. And while the major part of a student's education occurs in the classroom, a great deal of learning happens elsewhere on campus. Students learn self-advocacy, how to live in a community, and have ample opportunities to explore their identity and character in a vast array of settings. We know that having students engaged with peers and involved in meaningful activities increases their satisfaction and likelihood that they will persist to graduation. For traditional campuses, such as Trinity University, we also know that providing a safe, comfortable, and dynamic environments are important to the student experience and retention.

But it costs money to do all of these things. And as school's compete for students there is pressure to outshine competitors in EVERYTHING. Consumers (parents and students) are seeking the best places, the best deals, and the perfect match. So campus A may have a fantastic library, while campus B has the best Art facility, and campus C has the top Business program. This works against all institutions as pressure increases to have it all. "Yes, I like campus X because of their residence halls, but campus Y has better food, while campus C has the best workout facility I have seen yet..." Schools are in an arms race to have as many top experiences and stuff as possible in order to compete. The campus rock wall became a symbol of excess.

Of course, this means we all have to spend more and that means charging more. And thus the arms race is in full bloom as schools are being crushed under their own desires to offer the best while students and families, expecting the best, bemoan the rising costs. Thus the refrain, "For what I pay, I expect this... and this... and this." So all schools struggle with choices. The amount Trinity has spent on high-speed internet is staggering. But we have to have it, though streaming Netflix or porn is not really part of the core academic mission. Complaints about food, parking, library hours, and fitness areas drive improvements while at the same time we have to keep pace with faculty salaries and instructional support. It seems backwards. Sometimes we have to make tough choices and we simply can't have everything.

Excellence versus Perfection
This has been on my mind in recent years and I have talked more and more about it, publicly. We strive for excellence at Trinity. It is one of our core values. After over 30 years here I have seen firsthand that by-and-large the faculty and staff are all pulling the same direction and are committed to offering a top caliber academic and collegiate experience. In offering excellence, though, we have created an expectation of perfection. Every issue and concern, big or small, is presented to the campus authorities as a broken promise of what we sold when we were recruiting our students and families. With each "failure" to deliver, the chorus of disappointment grows louder, harsher, and more dramatic. Recently an old pipe burst, creating a lengthy repair and inconvenience (though no interruption in hot water for a significant time). Nevertheless, some expressed unhappiness that Trinity was somehow falling short on its promise. We are being crushed by the expectations we have created, that every class, every teacher, every dorm room, every roommate, every facility, and every meal is simply perfect. Indeed meeting and managing expectations has become exhausting.

Broken Promises
Students and families are not wrong to have high expectations. In recent years, many issues have percolated up where the University needed to (and needs to) improve. These include dining services, academic support services, and the residential facilities. We are making headway. Currently, there are pressing issues related to advising, Pathways, class availability, student mental health, Chapman-Halsell, more residence hall issues, and diversity. (People are right to express deep concern about being able to have course availability in order to graduate on time. It is the promise we have to keep.) All of these issues are being addressed and our strategic plan has gone a long way in shrinking the list of wants and needs. However, all of these things have heavy price tags that require choices and prioritization, and they can't all be addressed at once. And yet... The expectations we have created bury us in our failures to deliver in every aspect of the Trinity experience. And so we hear, again, "For what we pay..."

Chasing Happiness, Managing Complaints
I hear time and again how for the most part, students and families love their Trinity experiences. The quality of the faculty tops the list as does the supportive community. We offer, and usually deliver personal attention and the campus facilities and grounds are incredible. Students, families, the Board, the administration, the alumni, and the faculty and staff all care deeply about this place and what it represents and what it can be. Mostly, life is good.

So how do we manage complaints when they arise? There are some that are simply minor distractions. Parking is a perfect example. With all the important issues on campus, this is simply low on the priority list, given that there are always spaces, just not always convenient spaces. But there are some really important issues that need attention, several of which were mentioned earlier. As I moderate the parent Facebook page and advise the student government, I routinely hear the issues that are being raised. Myself and some of my colleagues often agree with the issues as presented, though admittedly we are fatigued with the tone, level, persistence and vitriol in some of what we hear. And we don't know how to address the competing needs that all come with associated facility and staffing costs. Again, this is the monster we have created.

The TU Parent Facebook Page and the Student Government Association are perfect venues for parents and students to test out their concerns. Many often begin with "Is anyone else noticing this, frustrated with that, or experiencing what I am?" That was sure effective in getting our attention this August on some residential facility issues. Unfortunately, these issues often evoke everything this post is about: expectations, perfection, disappointment, anger, and resentment.

I have increasingly been coaching students and parents that the best feedback is that which is direct, specific, and immediate. Many issues are isolated. Some are not. Testing the waters with others to see if there are shared concerns should lead to an elevation of issues to the proper departments. If those departments are unresponsive, then contacting the corresponding Vice President is the next best step. In my experience, my colleagues are all-in and extremely responsive to this type of feedback. In many cases minor issues can quickly and effectively be resolved. And bigger issues that require resources are much more likely to be addressed when the decision-makers in the administration hear firsthand the legitimate, impassioned, and powerful concerns of students and families. This is far more effective than throwing comments into the abyss where lower-level staffers like me have to relay concerns that we have no authority to address.

There is Hope
We recently revised our student complaint process, offering students more structure in expressing their grievances. This Complaints Web page may be helpful to parents and families as well, in at least identifying where to register complaints and concerns. Direct, specific, immediate...

We can only improve when we hear from all of our constituents. That can't stop. Feedback stokes change. We have created high expectations and we need to deliver on these, no question. And we also need understanding, patience, and support as we make very difficult decisions to best move this institution forward, and manage the very expectations that sometimes are crushing us.

Risky Business

Sophomore Robert Foye, 19, passed away late in January 2018 after inhaling nitrous oxide from canisters called "whippets." He was beginning the spring semester of his sophomore year and had just communicated his excitement, and optimism for the new term to his dad, Robert Sr. It wasn't even a given Robert would return that January. Substances, including alcohol, had gotten the best of him during his time as a student. But Robert was hard to say "no" to. He came back with a detailed plan to get it right.

Robert became known to staff on campus following a series of alcohol-related issues. Despite this, he was an extremely positive and engaging young man. He was full of life and had a huge personality.  He was well-traveled, bright, and driven. His family worked with me as the Dean of Students, and even more with Robert's Residential Life Coordinator, Nathan Tuttle, my son. Nathan and Robert's mom, Kristianna, had regular conversations about how we could help her son. Things had gotten bad enough that Robert lost his privileges to live on campus. This is highly unusual. But it was decided that while Robert and campus living were not compatible, we all wanted to see him try to continue his education while he tackled some of the substance issues that plagued him. This simply wouldn't have happened save for the extraordinary involvement and support of Robert's parents.

During the first face-to-face meeting between the Foye's (Robert  and Robert Sr.) and the Tuttle's we laid out the plan for Robert's recovery and success. It was evident that Robert Sr., despite living in Shanghai, would be fully engaged in monitoring Robert's academic progress and physical and emotional health. Robert Sr., as was his son, is charismatic, affable, fun-loving, driven, and has a huge heart. While some parents might be mad at the Dean for kicking their kid off campus, Robert Sr. never expressed such sentiments. He was all forward-looking and focused on what would come next for Robert. Without that, we wouldn't have made that arrangement.

At that same meeting Mr. Foye mentioned that he and his son were headed to the Trinity gym to play basketball. An avid hoops junkie, he travels with basketball shoes and a ball hoping to find a game,  anywhere, as a respite from the wine wholesaling business. Well, the Dean and his son play a little ball and we asked if we could join in. So the administrators, the troubled student, and the traveling dad formed a bond over games of two-on-two, a ritual we would continue whenever Senior would travel to San Antonio to keep up with his son.

When Robert was out of contact for two days in late January, Robert Sr. reached out to Nathan who stopped by the apartment and received no response. Robert Sr. contacted the apartment manager who checked in on Robert and made the horrible discovery that he had passed. Robert Sr.'s first call was to Nathan, who then called me. He was in shock, and so were we.

Robert Sr., I should note, is a confident basketball player and a bit of a trash talker. At the campus service for his son the following week he noted how the Foye's never lost to the Tuttle's. Indeed, the one constant in all of the pairings we tried on the court was that Robert Sr. never lost. Of course, he is huge, and bristled at my nickname for him (Chuck Nevitt) as he saw himself as more of a Kobe Bryant style player. The man can shoot. At the service he thought it was too somber and wanted to add some levity by needling me for being bested by him to lift spirits of those in attendance, because of course he would.

Robert's mom and siblings are devastated. Robert Sr.'s grief is intense, and lingering, and he misses his son dearly. But he is also a person who looks ahead and his positive nature is not of the kind that can be constrained. There were some things Mr. Foye wanted to see happen after his son's death. First, he wanted us to create a policy to ban whippets. This is in the works. Second, he wanted us to warn students about the dangers of risky behaviors, including use of these canisters. He has doggedly pursued companies that make access to these items to let them know of the tragic risks they pose. And third, he wanted to set up a scholarship in Robert's name.

While the staff could try to share Robert's story with students we knew there was really only one way to do it. We asked Mr. Foye to do a video (above) and gave him a rough outline. His son William produced it. This was shown for the first time at the orientation for new students in 2018. It was part of a session about student health and safety ("Triage)" that included information on alcohol, sexual assault, mental health, and more. It is sad, impactful, and still has a positive message. The video starts the program and is an attention grabber. It will be used for years to come. The scholarship fund is nearing its goal from Robert Sr.'s sheer willpower. He hopes to raise $100,000 by October for an endowed Trinity Scholarship in Robert's name.

Knowing full well that their son took risks, Mr. and Mrs. Foye want others to stop and think about their choices. They don't want any student and their family to endure what they are going through. For Robert Sr., the video doesn't diminish his pain, but he is pushing forward the only way he knows how, with guts, action, and his big personality. He is doing everything he can to flip his loss. That's all he knows.  

Donations can be made to the Robert Lawrence Foye Scholarship Foundation on PayPal.

Tenth Annual: The Year in Review - 2017-2018

Another academic year is in the rear-view mirror, and as is tradition, I take a look back at the year that was. Rules: I try to think broadly, beyond the Student Life perspective. I have certainly missed some things and invite readers to post on those things in the comment section.I will note that this year I published my 300th post. It was a difficult year for many reasons, so I wasn't as able to post as often as I would like. I hope that changes in the year ahead.

I want to also note that I review the Trinity News Center and the Trinitonian to prepare this piece. The Trinitonian does a fantastic job of reporting a LOT all year long.You can see PDFs of various issues on-line. As I scan past issues I am amazed at the pure volume of news and activity that is generated by the students, faculty, and staff on this campus.

Top Stories
I rank these mostly by impact and long-term/present-day scope and affect on others.

1. A Year of Tragic Loss 
This was one of the most difficult year's in the history of Trinity University. The deaths of students Cayley Mandadi (October) and Robert Foye (January) were tragic and overwhelming. Their lives and deaths had significant impact on those who knew them, particularly their dear friends here.

2. Campus Activism
Whether it was the Trinity Progressives, PRIDE, Black Student Union, TULA, TDC, or Tigers for Liberty, our students were fully engaged in social justice and political dialogue. The national issues related to DACA, immigration, the tragedy of Charlottesville, and the erosion of our societal values prompted student activism and action. Two of the best events annually are the Trinity contingents in the MLK Parade and the Pride Parade. Some students went on alternative spring break trips while others helped with disaster relief for the coast and Puerto Rico following devastating hurricanes.

3. The Completion of the Bell Center Renovation
The renovation seemed to drag on, but mostly for the promise it offered upon its completion. The new Fitness Center and other touches in the Bell Center were worth the wait. Trinity University is committed to student health and wellness as evidenced by the strategic plan, the presence of a Wellness Coordinator, the huge intercollegiate athletic and rec sports programs, and the Tobacco-free designation. So of course, we now have a facility that tangibly promotes physical fitness.

4. Starting Strong: First Year Experience and Advising
Last year I wrote: "As part of accreditation, the University is required to initiate a Quality Enhancement Plan of its choosing. After consideration of several proposals, the campus leadership settled on developing a proposal to improve the first year experience and advising. Trinity is well-positioned with generally committed faculty advisors as well as a strong FYE course and first-year residence halls. Developing support systems and structures for student success are critical and this effort has great potential. Look for it to be further up the list next year." Sure enough, this has moved from number seven to four. With a new director and a commitment to advising, teaching, and academic support, Trinity is addressing an important student issue. 

5.Tiger Learning Commons
The opening of this center toward academic support and success for our students was a home run. Located on the main level of the library, and boasting the new Accommodated Testing Center, TLC includes academic counselors, accessibility services, the Writing Center, and coordinates various elements of tutoring. Students in need of academic help have a place to go for assistance and it is perfectly situated in the library.

6. Dining Services Review
Probably nothing on campus (except Pathways, maybe) is scrutinized as much as dining services. Since Aramark has been on campus since the early 1980's they have been our food service provider. Finally, the University put food services out to bid to see what was out there and was pleased to announce the selection of its new/old vendor: Aramark. The process was competitive and Aramark leveraged its home field advantage. Some changes ahead include longer hours, to-go options, meal point exchanges, a Starbucks in the library, a food truck and a juice cart/truck, a local coffee servery in Mabee, a sandwich shop in CSI and more. Members of the Trinity community have earned the right to withhold judgment on the impact of these changes. I have great confidence that they will be very positive.

7. Bernie
In partnership with community groups, Trinity Progressives brought Bernie Sanders to campus. He was fantastically Bernie. Despite this happening on the eve of spring break, many students rearranged schedules and stood in line for tickets to see everyone's favorite socialist.

8. Football Switches Conferences
The Trinity Tiger football team moves to the Southern Athletic Association, raising the program's profile and competition. Then, Mitchell Globe scoops up a fumble in OT and takes it to the house for the win against Chapman.

9. Residential Life Office
Oh where to begin... City Vista apartments open and are a huge hit, but not without some growing pains. A sewage line broke under South Hall and ick. Melissa Flowers and Wanda Olson leave Residential Life and leave a huge void. Search for new director lands us Deb Tyson.

10. Re accreditation
This is about the least sexy item on the list but could easily be number two. Without it, we are not a credible academic institution. But we got it. Ten more years!

Hits
- 1869 Scholars Mentoring Program
- Ted Koppel
- Matt Desmond lecture on "Evicted"
- Revolve food station rotation in the Commons
- New staff: Alli Roman, Tess Coody, Jim Bradley, to name a few big hires...
- New scoreboards
- Jim Potter Field dedication
- Astros win World Series
- Master Plan
- Standing item: Acabellas and Trinitones

Misses
- Hurricane Harvey (thank goodness!)
- Cashmere Cat
- Kathleen Cleaver as MLK speaker

Under the Radar
- Half Marathon Challenge hits ten year mark!
- Aramark Director Charles Robles and Chef Brent Gorman making a BIG difference with Aramark

Big Hurts
- See number one.
- Our obituary page reflects the losses of former faculty and staff members.
- Stephen Nickle and Catherine Nickle head to the Pacific Northwest

On the Horizon
- Coates Student Center renovation
- Sesquicentennial: The 150th anniversary is almost here!

Archives 
Year 9
Year 8
Year 7
Year 6
Year 5
Year 4
Year 3
Year 2
Year 1

Bonus tracks
In case you missed it, here are the topics I got to write about this year. Trinity is rich with material:

Student Centered
Exceptional Service?
One Day.
Rick Roberts
Embracing Media Interviews
Speaking of... Race
Post #300
Inconvenient Truths
Fathers, Sons, and Holy Ghosts

Student Centered

Most campus renovation and construction projects take place over the summer. Students often return to find positive changes to University buildings and grounds. This year, students will find significant changes to the Coates Center. This includes some exciting new directions in various spaces plus a subtle, but important, name change.

Quick history... Decades ago Counseling Services, on second floor across the bridge, employed a counselor who did only career counseling. Over time, the demands required a full career counseling staff. (One of the regular counselors also did accessibility work as part of her gig, and that blossomed into a full time position - now two, actually.. They are in the Tiger Learning Commons) Three years ago, as part of the Trinity Tomorrow strategic plan, a Center for Experiential Learning was created. Logically, it was decided to situate this area with Career Services. Counseling Services was moved, temporarily, to Halsell. Because Halsell will soon be part of the Chapman-Halsell renovation project, it was time to call Counseling Services back home to the Coates Center.

To accommodate that move, we had to do some re-arranging. The Trinity Bookstore has moved into the east wing of the Coates Center. Some may remember this being the former Mail Center, which was next to the Commons. By moving, the textbook area on second floor of Coates has been freed up and the entire floor has been renovated to better accommodate Career Services and Experiential Learning. (Several Experiential Learning staff members were in satellite offices in Coates.)

Student Involvement, formerly in the west wing, has been moved to the former first floor of the bookstore. That space promises to be dynamic and unconventional as the multiple floor and ceiling levels (and ramps) make this non-institutional, which is really appropriate for the space. Counseling Services is moving into the west wing.

Some highlights:
- The stairwell that connected both levels of the bookstore will now connect Student Involvement and the Career and Experiential areas. We hope this will create some dynamic synergies between students and staff. This will create a centrally-located and highly visible "Student Engagement Core" right in the heart of the building.
- There will be a new multi-cultural space in the Student Involvement area and adjacent to the office of the Director for Diversity and Inclusion.
- The lobby area, while losing some space to the bookstore, is expanded. The information area has been moved upstairs and the former offices were removed. This creates a walk-through to Einstein Brothers Bagels. That walkway is big enough to be closed off for receptions and as headquarters for various events, such as family weekends.
- Counseling Services has landed in the perfect spot. It is still centrally-located, but in a more private area of the building, affording students a little privacy as they enter and exit.
- The multi-faith prayer space will move from Parker Chapel to the Lennox Room upstairs near Skyline Room.

I have overseen the Coates Center at various times and am now a tenant. With other colleagues, I see it as an important building on campus that should be flexible, well-maintained, and inviting for students. My actions reflect this. I led the renovation efforts for the Skyline Room, the Fiesta Room and the removal of the mailboxes that took up valuable real estate in the building. I also coordinated the effort to refurnish the building a few years ago to make it more student-friendly. (Not trying to make this all about me - but just showing that I have a lot of skin in the game with this building!)

While the campus master plan calls for a full-renovation and re-imagining of this space in ten to 15 years, this will serve us well for at least that long. The building has a more modern feel to it. Additionally, while any renovation is costly, much of this one was cosmetic and not nearly as substantial as many that involve fully stripping buildings to their original foundations and slabs. It will still seem like the Coates Center and yet, not.

Additionally, the building name is changing from the Coates University Center to the Coates Student Center. This is an intentional effort to put students at the center of what we do. The Engagement Core underscores the importance of the student experience in this facility. With the additional open gathering spaces, the return of Counseling Services from the north edge of campus, and the more dynamic bookstore, this really should feel like the campus living room to our students. (Many facilities, including the library, the Bell Center, and CSI fashion themselves as campus hubs. Coates, though, is fully dedicated to the overall student experience.)

As part of the Aramark renovations the Commons will likely undergo some physical changes next summer (2019). In the meantime, we are all excited for the student reaction to the new-ish Student Center. I will not post too many pictures, so it will seem fresh when students return. While most offices will be staffed by the time the year begins, we will be fully prepared to show off the building to faculty, staff, and students as part of Fall Family Weekend.

Exceptional Service?

NOT exceptional service in Dean's Office (staged!)

One of the biggest challenges Residential Life and many student services staff members face is how to address student and parent requests for exceptions. There has recently been a fun, robust discussion about this on the TU Parent Facebook page.

One premise is that for what students pay, the staff should be flexible and make exceptions when possible. Another, competing premise is that students shouldn't be coddled and should follow policies and rules because that is how it works in the real world. Many of my colleagues at Trinity and other campuses subscribe to the latter philosophy.

The bigger issue, for me, is often about weighing flexibility against consistency. What you do for one, you should be prepared to do for another. Many would say that if you have processes and policies in place, people will only follow them if you do. In considering exceptions, then, one has to decide which issues can have wiggle room and which ones can't.

Confounding all of this is the nature of the educational experience less as a commodity and more as a partnership.

I have evolved on all of this over the years. While generally it is my nature to want to be helpful and go the extra mile for students and parents, I haven't always been that way. Years ago an international student wanted to get into the closed residence halls over the break to get some homework out of his room. Maybe it was a passport. In any event I was dead set against it until a VP from another area compelled me to be flexible. It was frustrating, but he was right. While I saw it as philosophical and about learning, the student just needed a solid.

Likewise, we used to struggle with getting students to pay their annual housing deposits. If they didn't do so, they couldn't reserve their rooms. We sent letters, put out posters, placed ads in the paper, held meetings and more. Yet year after year 35% of our students would show up to the room reservation process without a deposit on file. This was back when everything was cash or check I should add. Finally, we changed the process. That made everyone's lives easier and showed that sometimes the problem isn't the end user, but the process.

Dean Tuttle Rule #1
Pick your battles.

I have learned from experience that there are a couple areas where it doesn't pay to make exceptions: the residency requirement and the meal plan requirement. One year someone was allowed to live off-campus to be a caretaker for a grandparent locally. The next year we heard from ten students with ailing grandparents in San Antonio. Rarely do we make exceptions in these areas and when we do we almost always regret doing so. People watch and they throw exceptions back at us. Our students and parents demand consistency. The person who doesn't get the exception cries foul if the policy isn't being applied evenly. Unwittingly, they are reinforcing to us to NOT make any exceptions. Which makes it hard, because the same person wanting an exception pleads for, and expects mercy. Housing and dining, in my sphere, are areas where we generally have to be exceptionally tight. It is a shame, because when students come here they aren't really thinking about these requirements. After one or two years it becomes clear to many that they are not built for residential living. There are a handful of people we also think are better suited to not live on campus. 

Dean Tuttle Rule #2
People rarely learn when they are mad. They learn more from acts of kindness. 

When I was an RA eons ago I had to bring my receipts to the University Bursar up at Bascom Hall at UW-Madison. Bookkeeping wasn't my strength. This guy could have nailed me. But he didn't. He helped me with the best estimates and let me be on my way. I remember this some 30 years later and can re-count other such situations in my life. This is why I am oddly, as a Dean, a spirit of the law versus letter of the law person.

We see this in student conduct cases all the time. It's one of the reasons we rarely issue community service sanctions. Time is a great currency for students. If we impose on that they will clean up the park all the while thinking how much they hate it here. Is that the lesson we want them to learn?

Dean Tuttle Rule #3
Never forget that people pay a lot of money here.

True, we are generous with aid and heavily discount. True, that when I started here in 1987 students used to say, in a demanding way, "I pay $12,000 a year to go here!" It drives me crazy when someone confuses their tuition bill with their room or dining bill (which are a lot less). But the point is the same. The Trinity experience is about excellence and we sell that we offer a customized, fully attentive, hands-on experience.

Dean Tuttle Rule #4
Except in the classroom, students are customers, even if they are not.
So here is the set-up: A student pays to come here and in exchange, may get a poor grade, may be cut from a team, might have a bad roommate, could not get the RA job or lose an election, and might be passed over for an award. This is great preparation for life after college. For some, these lessons are being learned for the first time.

So elsewhere, students expect exceptional service though in other areas. They want front-line administrators to be kind. They want to be heard. They want good food, clean facilities, and unusually close and available parking spaces. This is where we can balance their disappointments.

In summary, the issue that sparked a somewhat hilarious debate with parents was whether or not someone who misplaced their ID card should have been allowed into Mabee to eat. Technically, such a student needs to follow the policy, everyone else does. And it's in place for a reason. The student would learn in the future to be more careful about keeping track of her card. And finally, we shouldn't coddle students anymore than we already do (though many have been quite coddled before arriving here).

On the other side, given that students are busy and on the fly, they will sometimes misplace an ID. They are probably not going to use all of their meal swipes anyways. They could simply benefit by someone's kindness and flexibility. And they may decide to pay it forward to someone else in the future. What they will learn, hopefully, is to treat others the way they want to be treated. This is where I land most of the time.

There is no wrong or right here. Just different approaches and they are probably more along a continuum than right or wrong. But what do you think, readers? Take the poll, upper right and weigh in.

One day.

Wanda Olson receives the McKinley Award from President Danny Anderson.

The day started early, with an 8 a.m. committee meeting to discuss student nominees for the annual Student Leadership Awards. Those prized honors are among other bestowed upon students during Spring Family Showcase Weekend. Breakfast tacos courtesy of Jamie Thompson.

One never knows what a day will hold in the work I do. Generally there are lots of meetings, lots of emails that sit unanswered, fires to put out, and reports or presentations to produce. It's as rote as any job. But within that sometimes there are moments that are moving, challenging, and gratifying. These are the things that make my work fulfilling.

My staff knows I live by a couple axioms, many which played out on this day:
- Deal with things that are active, reactive and proactive, with the latter being the hardest to make time for.
- Embrace that we deal with gravity, levity, and absurdity.
- Be mission-centered and student-centered, not self centered.

On this particular morning we discussed which students would receive awards for either their breadth of accomplishments, or the depth of their work. Some students are superstars across multiple areas, including academics and also successes in leadership and co-curricular experiences. It's humbling to review their accomplishments, especially knowing some of the behind-the-scenes stories of these young adults.

When we were finished, and looked at the winners, we felt awesome. We looked at the diversity of the winners and the variety of their experiences. I think we all felt that this group represented all that is good about Trinity University.

The Student Success Team meets every week as we did on this day. This group discusses students who are struggling or who we are concerned about. This may make some uneasy, but virtually every campus does this. Our set-up barely preceded the Virginia Tech tragedy, but that was the impetus for many behavioral assessment teams nationally to communicate better in an effort to connect the dots about students needing support or of concern. About 15-18 staff members from various departments present student issues, look for connections, and determine who will lead in helping the student. Whether self-inflicted, inherited, or delivered by fate, some of our students face incredible challenges academically, emotionally, and socially. This group makes me proud because they work to support our students in ways impossible to enumerate. We meet for 30 minutes and we cover a lot of ground.

Next came a meeting with several other administrators to discuss how we process new student information related to housing assignments, special interest residence halls, advising, and First Year Experience assignments. Nothing special there. Except... Wanda Olson, from Residential Life, was in the meeting with us. This is Wanda's last week or so here as she readies to retire after 17 years at Trinity. The ruse was to hold her up until an 11 a.m. surprise presentation of the University McKinley Award for distinguished service. So, we dragged the meeting on until it was time for Wanda to head to Northrup fourth floor where she thought she was presenting an award to someone else.

What a pleasure to see Mrs. Olson finally receive her due after years and years of selfless service to the campus. She is a master deflector of attention, a hard-working grinder in the office, a mentor, and the most loyal and supportive employee I have ever had. Wanda volunteered to step back to the Associate Director role from the Director position a couple of years ago to pave the way for the now-departed Melissa Flowers to take over as Director. I have been to a lot of these presentations before, but none have ever been so joyous and celebratory. People here love Wanda Olson and were thrilled for her. She was in shock as she entered the room and as Bruce Bravo described her to her friends and colleagues and as President Anderson presented the award. Surprise successfully accomplished.

Next came a meeting with Jamie Thompson, again, and some Facilities staff to discuss the pending Coates Center renovation. This renovation will be officially announced soon and work will start over spring break. Prepare for disruption. The bookstore will move to the area near the Commons, Student Involvement will take their spot, and they will connect (by stairs) to the Center for Experiential Learning and Career Success upstairs. This will be a game-changer for us. In truth, it is a band-aid until a more complete renovation is done, possibly a decade or more down the road. Counseling Services will move to the west wing, currently occupied by Student Involvement.

Half a day to go.

The Student Life mission is to serve, support and challenge. Following a routine meeting with Admissions, I would next meet with a student. The conversation was contentious as we discussed a pending conduct hearing. Sometimes students are timid, worried, and respectful. Other times, they are not. This meeting was the latter. Regret. That happens when I take the bait, or let my emotions get the best of me. The meeting went poorly and I told the student when we were done with his case we will try to meet and hit reset moving forward. We will see if I get a chance. Our jobs at times require us to shed the service and support functions and challenge students as they challenge us. These difficult conversations and moments are extremely important. We engage students in ways that are not always comfortable, but hopefully, highly educational.

The last two hours of the day would be spent in student commencement speaker auditions. Each graduation a student speaker speaks at graduation on behalf of and to the graduating class. Over two days we would hear more than a dozen fully formed speeches. They were nostalgic, instructive, heartfelt, gracious, clever, and full of love. While we can only choose one we showcase the others the Thursday before graduation so the students can still present to friends and family before the annual Twilight at Trinity senior banquet. The committee LOVED these speeches.

What a way to bookend the day: learning about our award nominees and winners and then hearing seniors rave about their school, their friends, and their faculty and staff mentors. It is easy to feel intense pride in our students as they are absolutely exceptional.

By the end of the "official" day my heart was racing. My head was spinning. I would have to go to Starbucks to complete some past due work: to review the Resident Assistant applications following the previous week interviews. More shock and awe at the stories of our students and how they came to Trinity and how they hope to serve others. 

Eventually, finding my way home, I would toss and turn as sleep proved elusive. Pride, regret, worry, appreciation, and a little caffeine... I earned my wakefulness. It wasn't the best day and wasn't the worst day. It wasn't a typical day either.  But it was a memorable one.

We all seek meaning in our work and our lives. While it may be elusive many days, every once in awhile we get that feeling, that maybe we do matter, and are part of something bigger than ourselves. Maybe it is lasting, and maybe it's fleeting. But when it happens, what a feeling. Even if it is just for one day.    

Rick Roberts 1960-2018

At HOF induction 2012 (courtesy W. Terrell)

My close friend and former Trinity employee Rick Roberts, who worked in fundraising, passed away January 29 from complications resulting from his two-year battle with cancer. In November when he seemed to come out of the woods I lamented to him that I had a half-written blog post about him that was now useless. He laughed and said, "Well, save it. I want you to do my eulogy." I told him I would love to, thinking it wouldn't be this soon. He still gets a blog post. He was the kind of friend that would VOLUNTARILY read my blog without prompting. Many, many friends and family gathered at his service at Texas Lutheran earlier this month. For the record, here are my remarks at that occasion, minus when I was losing it of course:

February 6, 2018 – Rick Roberts Memorial Service Remarks

My name is David Tuttle and I have been friends with Rick for the past 24 years. I am humbled that I have the opportunity to say a few words to you today. I think Dacia is worried that I will talk too long. Mostly because she sent me a text that said “don’t talk too long.” Nah, not really. But do get comfortable. Rick is going to get his due.

I love that today is Rick’s birthday though I am not a huge “birthday” guy. Rick hated it when I would forget his birthday. Hated it. When he was at Trinity by day’s end he would call me and say something like, “Hey, did you want to tell me happy birthday, I’m leaving soon…” I always dreaded forgetting his birthday. Well, I will never forget now.

If he were here, Rick would be thrilled and probably a little uncomfortable with this crowd. After greeting you, despite this being his memorial service, we all know he would quickly turn the conversation to you. Asking about how you are doing. Right? Then he’d ask you for money!

Thank you all for being here. I want to especially thank and acknowledge some people on his behalf.

First, Welcome to all of the people from Trinity University, who just loved Rick so much. He left, but never left us behind.

I want to thank the Texas Lutheran community who quickly learned what we knew about Rick and who embraced him, and who he embraced, after TLU President Stuart Dorsey stole him from us at Trinity. I shake my fist at you Dr. Dorsey.

I want everyone here to know what a wonderful president and man Stuart Dorsey is. His unwavering support for Rick in so many dimensions reflects his kindness, generosity, leadership, and friendship. Rick repeatedly told me how much this meant to him and was stunned at how much Dr. Dorsey supported him and Dacia the last couple of years. I want to thank Debbie Cottrell, Kristi Quiros, and other members of the cabinet for their friendship and support of Rick. He loved all of you.

Last night there was an informal celebration of Rick’s life with his extended family and many of his close friends from Seguin and TLU. Rick’s colleague Sam Ehrlich gave a wonderful eloquent and emotional talk about Rick and what he meant to his team. (You need to share that Sam.) It made me realize that while Rick was loved at Trinity, he is beloved here at TLU. I guess we got to rent him whereas TLU got to own him. What a testament to Rick that he had such an impact professionally and he did it in a very personal way.

I want to acknowledge the caregivers from the hospital for their wonderful treatment they provided Rick. I would jokingly say to them “I want the best treatment for my friend here,” as though I had any authority. But they were giving it anyways. He touched them like he did all of us. His incredible spirit and wit inspired them and he was their best and favorite patient.

I want to welcome Rick’s family, many whom have traveled here from New Mexico. I got to meet many last night including siblings, in-laws, nieces and nephews. What wonderful caring, and expressive people. Being around Rick’s friends and family really helps you see why he was such a quality guy. He was surrounded by awesome people.

I want to acknowledge my wife Donna and my kids. When Rick took me on as a friend it was truly a family affair and the connections between all of us, especially the four of us have been so meaningful and we are all hurting.

I want to thank my friend Raphael Moffett for teaching me to say I love you to male friends. I was able to say this to Rick, though I still have to add the word “man” at the end. But I was able to tell him how I felt during this past year, thanks to you Moff.

To Elizabeth and EJ, I just want to tell you how proud your dad was of you and how much he loved you and Mandy and Arthur. His life revolved around you. You probably don’t see it this way, but you gave your dad a tremendous gift. Watching him grow and change because of you has been so gratifying. Through you he had to reconsider some of his viewpoints. He was always a good Christian. But you opened his eyes and heart in ways he never saw coming. You turned a good Christian into a true Christian.

Finally, I don’t know what to say about Dacia. She accompanied Rick through his illness with selflessness, love, and support. I can’t sit in the waiting room at the Med Clinic with my family for 30 minutes before I’m like “uh, I’m hungry, I’m missing the game… what’s this going to cost.” Rick turned all matters of his illness over to Dacia. She was there as his researcher and advocate, hour by hour, day by day, week by week, and month by month. She drove a lot. She never wavered. Ever. All of us marvel at you Dacia and what you did.

My wife reminded me, though, that your relationship shouldn’t be defined by the last two years. It would be like judging Sean Elliott’s career on the Memorial Day Miracle shot. (That’s my analogy, not my wife’s.) But Rick and Dacia were married for 38 years, which is amazing. They had two kids together, managed other health issues, grieved the loss of family members together, shared several homes, traveled regularly to New Mexico and Colorado after moving to Texas, and experienced all of the joy and challenges of a sustained relationship. Dacia, you meant everything to Rick, and he loved you with everything he had. You were a great wife and he was lucky to have you.  For you, Dacia, to lose him, now, is just so hard.  We all love you.

I met Rick when I came back to Trinity in 1994. Our friendship evolved from the basketball court, to running, and to connecting outside of work. We ran together after the attacks on 911 and shortly thereafter we started training for half and full marathons. When you run with someone that much you get really close. We shared everything about our work, our families, about how lucky our wives were to have us and about how right we were.

We shared a common love for the Spurs, as many of us do. We were at game two of the Minnesota series in 1999, together when we lost. We were mad. We were at the Laker game later that year when the Lakers had a foul to give but instead let Tim Duncan hit the game winner. We celebrated. We probably dissected hundreds of Spurs game on our runs together. The last time I saw Rick it was at the rehab hospital where we got to watch one last game together.

When I was the subject of a roast at Trinity it was Rick who landed the best blows. And when he left Trinity, I was able to talk about him at his farewell reception. And then there’s this. Outside my family, my friendship with Rick has been the most significant relationship of my adult life. I was so lucky to have a best friend with the same interests, the same sense of humor, and the same values. We knew one another’s weaknesses and flaws as well, but didn’t care. Our friendship was unconditional and easy.

I learned last night, that I probably can’t tell you anything you probably didn’t know or haven’t felt. Rick was consistent and treated everyone the same. But here are some things that need to be read into the record.

Rick had a tremendous sense of humor. Rick always reminded me of one of his favorite comedians, Jerry Seinfeld. His keen observations, his funny comebacks, his self-deprecation... He would see humor in most everything and he would retell stories of his missteps in ways that would have you rolling. Even to the end, he was always cracking jokes with the hospital staff.

Rick was the nicest guy in the world. I often felt like I was George to his Jerry. Whenever I was slighted at work or elsewhere, as I often am, Rick was an incredible sounding board. He had a way of listening, not over-reacting, and making me feel good about myself and helped me feel supported. Even at the hospital, he treated the staff with incredible respect and kindness. He could work a room because he wanted to meet people and to learn about them and support them too, but he never really worked people. It was always genuine. When you were with Rick you felt important and that you mattered.

Rick was extremely generous. He was in the perfect job. He got appropriately frustrated when I would tell people to watch their wallets when Rick approached. That’s because he never saw himself as someone who would separate people from their money. He was a steward of people’s resources as he helped them help others.

Now Rick would see this next bit as the most important part of my talk, so humor us. He was a great basketball player, even at his age, and I gotta break down his game for you!

Inducted into the Trinity Noon Ball Hall of Fame in 2012 (yes, that is a real thing), he was always one of the best players out there. He played how he lived his life. He worked hard, had great skill, expected excellence, and was a great teammate and sport. I hated guarding him because he always moved without the ball and knew how to set and use screens. He was a tenacious defender. He was probably the best and most consistent three-point shooter we had on the court. And he was often the best passer. He was the king of the touch pass. That was Rick, he shared the ball like he shared everything else.

Rick and Trich: with bald buddy Kellyn, July 4, 2017

Rick was a man of great faith. When we had Kellyn in 2002 we knew we wanted Rick and Dacia to be the godparents, despite them not being Catholic. When I went and did the paperwork, the Deacon said we couldn’t use them. They weren’t Catholic. They were the most Christian couple we knew, so I went to another church, Our Lady of Grace. This time I knew the question would come up so I was better prepared. I figured it was bad form to lie to a priest, so let’s just say I was evasive when the late Monsignor Walsh asked me about Kellyn’s sponsors. 

I think he knew, but he got it, so he didn’t press the issue. He waved them through. Every year thereafter, without fail, Rick and Dacia would come over with breakfast to celebrate Kellyn’s baptism date. They were always active in their faith communities and Rick was guided by his faith until the end.

Finally, I had no idea how resilient Rick was until his illness. I am not a fan of when people say someone was strong, or they fought hard. I think people deal with adversity the way they deal with it. No weak or strong. They simply cope the best they can. But I learned so much from Rick. I always assumed people fought illnesses from a place of fear. That’s how I would do it.

But Rick always fought from a place of hope, strength, and his eternal positive attitude. I should have figured. When we would play basketball and I would take a hard foul I would inevitably let out this kind of involuntary yelp. And Rick would just shake his head. “You okay there?” he would say with his sheepish grin. He was tougher. For crying out loud, he just learned this fall that he had a heart defect his whole life.

When I would turn the ball over, as I am prone to do, and then stop to pout, Rick would always admonish me to get back on defense. He would never give up. He was fearless and determined.

I tried to engage Rick about how he was feeling, emotionally, these past two years. He wouldn’t bite. Dacia recounted to us last week that Rick told her that it was odd that I asked him if he was afraid to die. She reminded him that, well, he did have stage 12 cancer. But he said he that while he didn’t want to die, he wasn’t afraid.

Rick looked ahead, never skipping steps, and never losing faith. He was focused fully on the next thing and not one step beyond. When Rick told me he had cancer, it was over coffee at Starbucks. “So, I need to tell you something…” he started. He was almost sheepish about it. Almost embarrassed. It was like he was going to tell me that he dented my car. This illness was never bigger than him. Setback after setback and obstacle after obstacle were placed in his way. Despite pain and extreme discomfort Rick never complained. Dacia says that during his rehab, when they said do five reps Rick would say let’s do ten. When they would say ten minutes he would say 20.

Even when I saw this coming I never really expected it. Like Rick, I never really wanted to look up. And today, I do look up, and I see all of you. Rick was my best friend. You naturally see people mostly in the context of how you know them. I was speechless last night and a little disoriented as I was reminded that Rick was much more than my friend. Husband, dad, brother, son, co-worker, friend, noon-baller, donor. He belonged to everyone in much the same way. Without doubt, Rick made an incredibly positive impact on everyone who knew him. Even now. Ironically, on this day, he is the gift-giver and always has been. I love you Rick. We all love you. Happy birthday.