One day.

Wanda Olson receives the McKinley Award from President Danny Anderson.

The day started early, with an 8 a.m. committee meeting to discuss student nominees for the annual Student Leadership Awards. Those prized honors are among other bestowed upon students during Spring Family Showcase Weekend. Breakfast tacos courtesy of Jamie Thompson.

One never knows what a day will hold in the work I do. Generally there are lots of meetings, lots of emails that sit unanswered, fires to put out, and reports or presentations to produce. It's as rote as any job. But within that sometimes there are moments that are moving, challenging, and gratifying. These are the things that make my work fulfilling.

My staff knows I live by a couple axioms, many which played out on this day:
- Deal with things that are active, reactive and proactive, with the latter being the hardest to make time for.
- Embrace that we deal with gravity, levity, and absurdity.
- Be mission-centered and student-centered, not self centered.

On this particular morning we discussed which students would receive awards for either their breadth of accomplishments, or the depth of their work. Some students are superstars across multiple areas, including academics and also successes in leadership and co-curricular experiences. It's humbling to review their accomplishments, especially knowing some of the behind-the-scenes stories of these young adults.

When we were finished, and looked at the winners, we felt awesome. We looked at the diversity of the winners and the variety of their experiences. I think we all felt that this group represented all that is good about Trinity University.

The Student Success Team meets every week as we did on this day. This group discusses students who are struggling or who we are concerned about. This may make some uneasy, but virtually every campus does this. Our set-up barely preceded the Virginia Tech tragedy, but that was the impetus for many behavioral assessment teams nationally to communicate better in an effort to connect the dots about students needing support or of concern. About 15-18 staff members from various departments present student issues, look for connections, and determine who will lead in helping the student. Whether self-inflicted, inherited, or delivered by fate, some of our students face incredible challenges academically, emotionally, and socially. This group makes me proud because they work to support our students in ways impossible to enumerate. We meet for 30 minutes and we cover a lot of ground.

Next came a meeting with several other administrators to discuss how we process new student information related to housing assignments, special interest residence halls, advising, and First Year Experience assignments. Nothing special there. Except... Wanda Olson, from Residential Life, was in the meeting with us. This is Wanda's last week or so here as she readies to retire after 17 years at Trinity. The ruse was to hold her up until an 11 a.m. surprise presentation of the University McKinley Award for distinguished service. So, we dragged the meeting on until it was time for Wanda to head to Northrup fourth floor where she thought she was presenting an award to someone else.

What a pleasure to see Mrs. Olson finally receive her due after years and years of selfless service to the campus. She is a master deflector of attention, a hard-working grinder in the office, a mentor, and the most loyal and supportive employee I have ever had. Wanda volunteered to step back to the Associate Director role from the Director position a couple of years ago to pave the way for the now-departed Melissa Flowers to take over as Director. I have been to a lot of these presentations before, but none have ever been so joyous and celebratory. People here love Wanda Olson and were thrilled for her. She was in shock as she entered the room and as Bruce Bravo described her to her friends and colleagues and as President Anderson presented the award. Surprise successfully accomplished.

Next came a meeting with Jamie Thompson, again, and some Facilities staff to discuss the pending Coates Center renovation. This renovation will be officially announced soon and work will start over spring break. Prepare for disruption. The bookstore will move to the area near the Commons, Student Involvement will take their spot, and they will connect (by stairs) to the Center for Experiential Learning and Career Success upstairs. This will be a game-changer for us. In truth, it is a band-aid until a more complete renovation is done, possibly a decade or more down the road. Counseling Services will move to the west wing, currently occupied by Student Involvement.

Half a day to go.

The Student Life mission is to serve, support and challenge. Following a routine meeting with Admissions, I would next meet with a student. The conversation was contentious as we discussed a pending conduct hearing. Sometimes students are timid, worried, and respectful. Other times, they are not. This meeting was the latter. Regret. That happens when I take the bait, or let my emotions get the best of me. The meeting went poorly and I told the student when we were done with his case we will try to meet and hit reset moving forward. We will see if I get a chance. Our jobs at times require us to shed the service and support functions and challenge students as they challenge us. These difficult conversations and moments are extremely important. We engage students in ways that are not always comfortable, but hopefully, highly educational.

The last two hours of the day would be spent in student commencement speaker auditions. Each graduation a student speaker speaks at graduation on behalf of and to the graduating class. Over two days we would hear more than a dozen fully formed speeches. They were nostalgic, instructive, heartfelt, gracious, clever, and full of love. While we can only choose one we showcase the others the Thursday before graduation so the students can still present to friends and family before the annual Twilight at Trinity senior banquet. The committee LOVED these speeches.

What a way to bookend the day: learning about our award nominees and winners and then hearing seniors rave about their school, their friends, and their faculty and staff mentors. It is easy to feel intense pride in our students as they are absolutely exceptional.

By the end of the "official" day my heart was racing. My head was spinning. I would have to go to Starbucks to complete some past due work: to review the Resident Assistant applications following the previous week interviews. More shock and awe at the stories of our students and how they came to Trinity and how they hope to serve others. 

Eventually, finding my way home, I would toss and turn as sleep proved elusive. Pride, regret, worry, appreciation, and a little caffeine... I earned my wakefulness. It wasn't the best day and wasn't the worst day. It wasn't a typical day either.  But it was a memorable one.

We all seek meaning in our work and our lives. While it may be elusive many days, every once in awhile we get that feeling, that maybe we do matter, and are part of something bigger than ourselves. Maybe it is lasting, and maybe it's fleeting. But when it happens, what a feeling. Even if it is just for one day.    

Rick Roberts 1960-2018

At HOF induction 2012 (courtesy W. Terrell)

My close friend and former Trinity employee Rick Roberts, who worked in fundraising, passed away January 29 from complications resulting from his two-year battle with cancer. In November when he seemed to come out of the woods I lamented to him that I had a half-written blog post about him that was now useless. He laughed and said, "Well, save it. I want you to do my eulogy." I told him I would love to, thinking it wouldn't be this soon. He still gets a blog post. He was the kind of friend that would VOLUNTARILY read my blog without prompting. Many, many friends and family gathered at his service at Texas Lutheran earlier this month. For the record, here are my remarks at that occasion, minus when I was losing it of course:

February 6, 2018 – Rick Roberts Memorial Service Remarks

My name is David Tuttle and I have been friends with Rick for the past 24 years. I am humbled that I have the opportunity to say a few words to you today. I think Dacia is worried that I will talk too long. Mostly because she sent me a text that said “don’t talk too long.” Nah, not really. But do get comfortable. Rick is going to get his due.

I love that today is Rick’s birthday though I am not a huge “birthday” guy. Rick hated it when I would forget his birthday. Hated it. When he was at Trinity by day’s end he would call me and say something like, “Hey, did you want to tell me happy birthday, I’m leaving soon…” I always dreaded forgetting his birthday. Well, I will never forget now.

If he were here, Rick would be thrilled and probably a little uncomfortable with this crowd. After greeting you, despite this being his memorial service, we all know he would quickly turn the conversation to you. Asking about how you are doing. Right? Then he’d ask you for money!

Thank you all for being here. I want to especially thank and acknowledge some people on his behalf.

First, Welcome to all of the people from Trinity University, who just loved Rick so much. He left, but never left us behind.

I want to thank the Texas Lutheran community who quickly learned what we knew about Rick and who embraced him, and who he embraced, after TLU President Stuart Dorsey stole him from us at Trinity. I shake my fist at you Dr. Dorsey.

I want everyone here to know what a wonderful president and man Stuart Dorsey is. His unwavering support for Rick in so many dimensions reflects his kindness, generosity, leadership, and friendship. Rick repeatedly told me how much this meant to him and was stunned at how much Dr. Dorsey supported him and Dacia the last couple of years. I want to thank Debbie Cottrell, Kristi Quiros, and other members of the cabinet for their friendship and support of Rick. He loved all of you.

Last night there was an informal celebration of Rick’s life with his extended family and many of his close friends from Seguin and TLU. Rick’s colleague Sam Ehrlich gave a wonderful eloquent and emotional talk about Rick and what he meant to his team. (You need to share that Sam.) It made me realize that while Rick was loved at Trinity, he is beloved here at TLU. I guess we got to rent him whereas TLU got to own him. What a testament to Rick that he had such an impact professionally and he did it in a very personal way.

I want to acknowledge the caregivers from the hospital for their wonderful treatment they provided Rick. I would jokingly say to them “I want the best treatment for my friend here,” as though I had any authority. But they were giving it anyways. He touched them like he did all of us. His incredible spirit and wit inspired them and he was their best and favorite patient.

I want to welcome Rick’s family, many whom have traveled here from New Mexico. I got to meet many last night including siblings, in-laws, nieces and nephews. What wonderful caring, and expressive people. Being around Rick’s friends and family really helps you see why he was such a quality guy. He was surrounded by awesome people.

I want to acknowledge my wife Donna and my kids. When Rick took me on as a friend it was truly a family affair and the connections between all of us, especially the four of us have been so meaningful and we are all hurting.

I want to thank my friend Raphael Moffett for teaching me to say I love you to male friends. I was able to say this to Rick, though I still have to add the word “man” at the end. But I was able to tell him how I felt during this past year, thanks to you Moff.

To Elizabeth and EJ, I just want to tell you how proud your dad was of you and how much he loved you and Mandy and Arthur. His life revolved around you. You probably don’t see it this way, but you gave your dad a tremendous gift. Watching him grow and change because of you has been so gratifying. Through you he had to reconsider some of his viewpoints. He was always a good Christian. But you opened his eyes and heart in ways he never saw coming. You turned a good Christian into a true Christian.

Finally, I don’t know what to say about Dacia. She accompanied Rick through his illness with selflessness, love, and support. I can’t sit in the waiting room at the Med Clinic with my family for 30 minutes before I’m like “uh, I’m hungry, I’m missing the game… what’s this going to cost.” Rick turned all matters of his illness over to Dacia. She was there as his researcher and advocate, hour by hour, day by day, week by week, and month by month. She drove a lot. She never wavered. Ever. All of us marvel at you Dacia and what you did.

My wife reminded me, though, that your relationship shouldn’t be defined by the last two years. It would be like judging Sean Elliott’s career on the Memorial Day Miracle shot. (That’s my analogy, not my wife’s.) But Rick and Dacia were married for 38 years, which is amazing. They had two kids together, managed other health issues, grieved the loss of family members together, shared several homes, traveled regularly to New Mexico and Colorado after moving to Texas, and experienced all of the joy and challenges of a sustained relationship. Dacia, you meant everything to Rick, and he loved you with everything he had. You were a great wife and he was lucky to have you.  For you, Dacia, to lose him, now, is just so hard.  We all love you.

I met Rick when I came back to Trinity in 1994. Our friendship evolved from the basketball court, to running, and to connecting outside of work. We ran together after the attacks on 911 and shortly thereafter we started training for half and full marathons. When you run with someone that much you get really close. We shared everything about our work, our families, about how lucky our wives were to have us and about how right we were.

We shared a common love for the Spurs, as many of us do. We were at game two of the Minnesota series in 1999, together when we lost. We were mad. We were at the Laker game later that year when the Lakers had a foul to give but instead let Tim Duncan hit the game winner. We celebrated. We probably dissected hundreds of Spurs game on our runs together. The last time I saw Rick it was at the rehab hospital where we got to watch one last game together.

When I was the subject of a roast at Trinity it was Rick who landed the best blows. And when he left Trinity, I was able to talk about him at his farewell reception. And then there’s this. Outside my family, my friendship with Rick has been the most significant relationship of my adult life. I was so lucky to have a best friend with the same interests, the same sense of humor, and the same values. We knew one another’s weaknesses and flaws as well, but didn’t care. Our friendship was unconditional and easy.

I learned last night, that I probably can’t tell you anything you probably didn’t know or haven’t felt. Rick was consistent and treated everyone the same. But here are some things that need to be read into the record.

Rick had a tremendous sense of humor. Rick always reminded me of one of his favorite comedians, Jerry Seinfeld. His keen observations, his funny comebacks, his self-deprecation... He would see humor in most everything and he would retell stories of his missteps in ways that would have you rolling. Even to the end, he was always cracking jokes with the hospital staff.

Rick was the nicest guy in the world. I often felt like I was George to his Jerry. Whenever I was slighted at work or elsewhere, as I often am, Rick was an incredible sounding board. He had a way of listening, not over-reacting, and making me feel good about myself and helped me feel supported. Even at the hospital, he treated the staff with incredible respect and kindness. He could work a room because he wanted to meet people and to learn about them and support them too, but he never really worked people. It was always genuine. When you were with Rick you felt important and that you mattered.

Rick was extremely generous. He was in the perfect job. He got appropriately frustrated when I would tell people to watch their wallets when Rick approached. That’s because he never saw himself as someone who would separate people from their money. He was a steward of people’s resources as he helped them help others.

Now Rick would see this next bit as the most important part of my talk, so humor us. He was a great basketball player, even at his age, and I gotta break down his game for you!

Inducted into the Trinity Noon Ball Hall of Fame in 2012 (yes, that is a real thing), he was always one of the best players out there. He played how he lived his life. He worked hard, had great skill, expected excellence, and was a great teammate and sport. I hated guarding him because he always moved without the ball and knew how to set and use screens. He was a tenacious defender. He was probably the best and most consistent three-point shooter we had on the court. And he was often the best passer. He was the king of the touch pass. That was Rick, he shared the ball like he shared everything else.

Rick and Trich: with bald buddy Kellyn, July 4, 2017

Rick was a man of great faith. When we had Kellyn in 2002 we knew we wanted Rick and Dacia to be the godparents, despite them not being Catholic. When I went and did the paperwork, the Deacon said we couldn’t use them. They weren’t Catholic. They were the most Christian couple we knew, so I went to another church, Our Lady of Grace. This time I knew the question would come up so I was better prepared. I figured it was bad form to lie to a priest, so let’s just say I was evasive when the late Monsignor Walsh asked me about Kellyn’s sponsors. 

I think he knew, but he got it, so he didn’t press the issue. He waved them through. Every year thereafter, without fail, Rick and Dacia would come over with breakfast to celebrate Kellyn’s baptism date. They were always active in their faith communities and Rick was guided by his faith until the end.

Finally, I had no idea how resilient Rick was until his illness. I am not a fan of when people say someone was strong, or they fought hard. I think people deal with adversity the way they deal with it. No weak or strong. They simply cope the best they can. But I learned so much from Rick. I always assumed people fought illnesses from a place of fear. That’s how I would do it.

But Rick always fought from a place of hope, strength, and his eternal positive attitude. I should have figured. When we would play basketball and I would take a hard foul I would inevitably let out this kind of involuntary yelp. And Rick would just shake his head. “You okay there?” he would say with his sheepish grin. He was tougher. For crying out loud, he just learned this fall that he had a heart defect his whole life.

When I would turn the ball over, as I am prone to do, and then stop to pout, Rick would always admonish me to get back on defense. He would never give up. He was fearless and determined.

I tried to engage Rick about how he was feeling, emotionally, these past two years. He wouldn’t bite. Dacia recounted to us last week that Rick told her that it was odd that I asked him if he was afraid to die. She reminded him that, well, he did have stage 12 cancer. But he said he that while he didn’t want to die, he wasn’t afraid.

Rick looked ahead, never skipping steps, and never losing faith. He was focused fully on the next thing and not one step beyond. When Rick told me he had cancer, it was over coffee at Starbucks. “So, I need to tell you something…” he started. He was almost sheepish about it. Almost embarrassed. It was like he was going to tell me that he dented my car. This illness was never bigger than him. Setback after setback and obstacle after obstacle were placed in his way. Despite pain and extreme discomfort Rick never complained. Dacia says that during his rehab, when they said do five reps Rick would say let’s do ten. When they would say ten minutes he would say 20.

Even when I saw this coming I never really expected it. Like Rick, I never really wanted to look up. And today, I do look up, and I see all of you. Rick was my best friend. You naturally see people mostly in the context of how you know them. I was speechless last night and a little disoriented as I was reminded that Rick was much more than my friend. Husband, dad, brother, son, co-worker, friend, noon-baller, donor. He belonged to everyone in much the same way. Without doubt, Rick made an incredibly positive impact on everyone who knew him. Even now. Ironically, on this day, he is the gift-giver and always has been. I love you Rick. We all love you. Happy birthday.

Embracing Media Interviews

Recently a colleague asked me for pointers on how to talk to the Trinitonian. It's a great question and hints at the trepidation some have when faced with being the subject of an interview. People want to show they are smart, reasoned, and caring. And they want to be quoted accurately. I have been doing interviews for decades. Still, I always check the Trinitonian for damage control before diving in more fully. I check the opinion pieces and then the stories I am a part of. It's human nature. Then I enjoy a good stress-free read.

I am a huge fan and supporter of the Trinitonian. This isn't to say that sometimes I don't disagree with them and their opinions. On the whole, though, the paper has a sustained record of excellence. That said, here are some tips for my colleagues when the spotlight turns toward them:

1. You should say "yes" to being interviewed
The best way to manage the flow of accurate information is to offer it. Avoiding interviews makes people think there is something to hide. Even worse, is saying "no comment." It is a stiff-arm to legitimate queries and makes reporters even more suspicious. Often you can help reporters by referring them to additional/different/better sources if they are requesting you to comment on something out of your wheel house.

2. Be accessible
The students are very busy and juggling deadlines. They will appreciate it, and remember, if you take calls outside of normal hours or send some quick email responses to follow-up questions. It may behoove you as well in the long run.

3. You don't have to answer the questions just because they are asked
You need to be honest, but aren't under oath and aren't required to answer things that are off limits. Generally this happens with private and confidential information, usually about students and employees. I like to talk in generalities when this happens: "Well, usually staff members are discouraged from coming to work high..." or "What a lot of campuses face is..."

4. The paper is a valuable conduit of real news
Transparency, communication, and the exchange of information are critical to the media and our paper is no different. Being on the hot seat can be difficult, but explaining one's self and one's decisions is important. When I visit other campuses I pick up their papers to compare them to ours. None match the content, the layout, and the pizzazz of our campus paper.

5. It is all about student learning
Once you see the value (#3), the next step is understanding that not only is the Trinitonian a service, but it is an educational vehicle for students. Nearly everything we do here is about student learning. Reporters are sometimes nervous to talk to adults who have been here awhile and can be guarded at best and blustery at worst. Believe me, it is tough when a reporter makes mistakes at the expense of your reputation and career. Get over it though.

6. Keep perspective
It is easy to think that what we do is soooo important. Sometimes it is. But we are a small campus in South Central Texas and mostly nobody else cares. Polar ice caps are melting, the rich are getting richer, and world leaders with WMDs are assigning nicknames to one another. We are not "all-that."

7. Your quotes are less interesting than you think
It took me a while to figure this out. Sometimes when I read my quotes I am like "oh no, this is totally out of context." That used to drive me crazy. Then I realized that usually people glance through stories, get the drift, and then check their iPhones. The quote you obsess over is probably of very little consequence. The truth is, that out of a twenty-minute interview you will probably have two or three quotes - tops. And reporters will just be using you, really, to weave their narrative.

8. Let reporters record your interview
Everyone wins. My fear used to be that I would be misquoted. Now I fear I will be quoted accurately. "Did I really say that?"

9. Try to be interesting
I try to drop in an outlandish nugget in every interview. I learned this from my mentor Dr. Coleen Grissom. (This was never a strategy for her, she just did it because she was that good.) Once you realize you aren't Such a big deal (see #6), then you can have fun. I try to drop a money quote in every interview. Unfortunately, few get published, either out of the reporter's respect for my reputation, or because they didn't think I was as amusing as I did.
10. You can go off the record
All you have to do is say, "Can I go off the record?" Sometimes this is important when a reporter is sniffing around an angle that isn't accurate. And sometimes you are trapped in terms of what you can say for print. You still can't divulge private information, but you can say things like, "We are going to announce this change in a week, so be patient..." Some stories are non-stories and you can derail them by being honest. And it makes you feel really important to lean in, look side-to-side, and say, "Off the record..." But that's just between us.

11. You can't proofread the story
Journalists don't want you to even ask. They are loathe to cede control of their material, their story, and their angle to one of the sources. You usually can't talk them out of using your quotes once you have spilled the beans. But, our students generally aren't out to get us. If you build rapport and then later get nervous about what you said, a reporter might be open to reading back your quotes to you to give you peace of mind.

12. Someone will always disagree with you
The reporters are taught to cite multiple sources. Sometime you are a primary source or a secondary source. You will probably know which when you know the topic. The most maddening thing is there will always be a student quote that makes you seem like you know nothing: "Free tuition for everyone is fine, but really, if I can't find a place to park I will never give money to Trinity." This is done in the name of balance. Get used to it.

13. Let it go...
From time-to-time employees will write back for clarification - often on minor points - and occasionally without much grace. The more you keep a story going the more life it has. Don't feed the fire.

14. Finally, it is important to understand the role of the advisor.
Katharine Martin does a great job training the students and processing the issues they grapple with. And, she regularly reviews their work after it is published. But, she doesn't review content in advance unless the students are seeking her help. This is critical so the press, even at a small private school, is seen as independent and free from censorship. That is what creates an authentic and valuable learning experience, and one we can share in by being competent and interesting interview subjects.