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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Speaking Dennis

So with a new President coming on board, it is time to prepare. There's a new sheriff in town. For our students, there isn't too much to be done. For the faculty and staff, however, it's every person for him or herself. I'm not implying that people will start pushing their pet projects and try to get the ear of the new President and buddy up to him. I am saying it outright. Based on what happened when Dr. Brazil arrived, prepare for sucking up, posturing, and selfless promotion like you have never seen before. And that will just be me. Someone's hoping for a new apartment-style dorm!

I have come up with two ways to get in good with the new President. First, he is a fellow blogger. One of ours is all high-brow, intellectual and financial, and the other's is, well... mine. Picture this conversation sometime in the future:
Me: "Dennis, do you mind turning up the power on the jets?"
President Ahlburg: "Why are you in my hot tub, mate? And stop calling me Dennis."

Me: "Remember that post about budget cuts and the American Economic Association you did at CU? Yeah, that was a good one. It was like the one I did about refrigerator magnets."
President Ahlburg: "Now, who are you again?"

Second, amidst the Kafuffle of his arrival, he may feel a little homesick for his native Australia, even though he hasn't lived there since like the early 1970's. Others may be bringing gifts of Foster's Beer to welcome him or talk to him about their favorite member of the Wiggles or that one Men at Work song. But I will be using his native tongue. I hope he is no cot case, as I will be inviting him to join us for noon ball and the half marathon training program. I will just put the billy on until he's all chocker, if you know what I mean. Oh, you probably DON'T know, because I have the "True Blue Guide to Australian Slang" and you don't. (It's not my fault that I am prepared. You probably have $8.20 sitting around somewhere. You could have gotten the same book.)

Well, I need to strike a blow, as they say down under. But let me first officially welcome our new President. He's going to love me. I just know it.


Bob said...

Don't insult him by offering Fosters'. Nobody in Oz actually drinks the stuff, it's exported to blokes like Yanks who don't know good beer. Cascade is a good brand, though hard to find here.

Digital Subway said...

I am wondering if he plays cricket. I would be surprised if he doesn't. Maybe we can bring cricket to Trinity. That would be diversity even in sports ;D

Anonymous said...

Rumor has it that the official mascot of Trinity will be chaning to a Kangaroo in the very near future.

David Tuttle said...

Dang it, no one can keep a secret around here. Unfortunately Austin College beat us to the kangaroo punch.

Anonymous said...

You should meet him wearing a big hat with corks hanging off and a big "G'day, mate!" He'll be sure to love you then.